Oh d-d-d-d-dear

It is probably not a good thing for one to realize in the months leading up to one’s final year of college, the last leg before they receive their two Bachelor of Arts degrees, that they have no idea what they’re doing with their life.  Because, ladies and gentlemen, I am there.

I have changed career ideals so many times in my life.  From what I can remember, I have wanted to be a singer, a writer, an actress, a journalist, a paleontologist, a pediatric oncologist, a teacher, a NICU nurse, a translator, a professor, and a library archivist.  I would still love to be all of those things, however there’s only so much a degree in French and a degree in English can do for you, and when I say “so much,” I mean “hardly anything.”

Let’s be honest here.  What do I really, really want to do with my life?

It’s simple.

I want to live in Québec.

Honestly, that’s all I want.  If I never meet Monsieur le Prince Charmant, that would be okay, as long as I lived in Québec.  Maybe it’s a weird dream.  Maybe most women my age want to meet a guy and settle down with him.  Maybe they want to find a guy they’d be willing to follow to the ends of the earth.  But after five years of dreaming of a place and not a person, the ends of my earth stop at the border.  The only career dream I’ve retained throughout my life is to be a novelist, and, let’s face it, that’s not too likely.  However, now, the summer before my final year of undergrad, I’m starting to fear that living in Québec isn’t too likely, either.

I would do anything to live in Québec.  I would translate, which is the current goal.  I would teach, which is near impossible because I don’t have a B.A. in Education.  I would marry a wonderful man, be a mother, and be a housewife, never actually utilizing my degrees.  That’s all fine and dandy.  All I want to do is get there, and I can’t help but fear that everything is going to tumble down around me as I get closer and closer to finding out whether or not it will actually ever happen.  Why can’t this be easy?  Why can’t I just say I’ll be a translator and head north?  Because being a translator won’t make me a whole lot of money, plus it’s rather complicated to become a certified translator.

People have asked, “Why Québec?”  It’s not something that’s easily explained.  More and more as of late, when people learn that I’m a French major, the first question is, “Have you been to France?”  No, I have not been to France.  Would I like to go there?  Sure.  Is it a priority?  No.  I would love to go to France one day, just like I would also love to go to Russia, Romania, or Italy.  Hell, I just want to travel Europe someday.  But do I want to live in Europe or, more specifically, in France?  No.

So why Québec?  Well.  I have lived in six states throughout my life and have moved approximately eleven times, give or take.  I was born in Michigan and have since lived in California (two separate times), Utah, Kentucky, Georgia, and now Missouri.  I attended two elementary schools, one middle school, and three high schools.  Where am I from?  I don’t know.  When people ask that question, it takes me a second.  I don’t say I’m from Michigan because I only spent two years of my life there.  I only spent three years in Kentucky and four months in Georgia.  So that leaves it down to Utah and California, where I spent about six and seven years respectively.  Generally, I tell people I’m from California because that’s where I spent my adolescence.  Am I a Californian?  Maybe kind of not really.  Is California my home?  No, and it hasn’t been since I was seventeen.

But Québec.  I first traveled there in 2009 at the age of eighteen when my dear friends Sarah and Gloria were kind enough to take me with them to see Bruno Pelletier in concert.  I only spent a few days in Montréal, but it made a lasting impression.  Then, in the summer of 2013, I spent over a month in Québec City.  I cannot recall a time where I felt more complete.  I felt different in Québec.  I felt whole.  I felt like I was part of something.  I felt like I was, for the first time, in a place that loved me as much as I loved it.  I have never felt more at home in any place in the entire United States than I did in Québec.  And it was only a month.  A month out of almost twenty-three years.

I would do anything to go back.  Teach, whether it be in primary, secondary or Cégep; translate; work in the tourism industry, anything.  I just want to be there.  I would like to believe that I could just fly up there, get an apartment, and the rest will just fall into place, but I know that’s not the case.  I know I need to work hard to get there.  But right now, as my senior year approaches, when I’m worried about what to get my M.A. in, if I’ll even get in to grad school, if I should take a year off first . . . everything is terrifying.

It's gonna be MAY

I've tried numerous times to actually get this entry written and it's failed each time, so I'm just going to go for it.  I refuse to skip a month when I've had a post each month for almost three years.

So!  What's been going on since I last updated?  Well, the French play happened.  The Pi Delta Phi initiation and banquet happened (at which point I became the new vice president).  Finals happened.  I finished my job in Special Collections.  I bought plane tickets to see my family this summer.  We cleaned up the dorm and moved out.  Lauren graduated college.  I started a "secret" project that I'm really excited about.  I carted my clothes to Kat's apartment to stay with her until I start JBA.

I think that's about it.  I've been meaning to write for a while, but hey, I got everything down I needed to say in just a paragraph.  Cool!

Countdowns:

2 weeks and 5 days until I start JBA

1 month and 15 days until I fly to Kentucky

3 months and 1 week until classes start.

WOO.  That was easy.

Ces cinq années

(An English translation of this post is below.)

En octobre 2008, grâce à Lauren, j’ai découvert la musique d’un chanteur québécois (dont vous connaissez tous le nom, je crois).  Il ne chantait qu’en français, et moi je parlais seulement anglais, mais j’adorais sa musique et je voulais bien comprendre ses paroles.  Le problème, c’était que je n’étais pas étudiante à l'époque et je n’avais pas de moyen d’étudier le français.  (De toute façon, mon ancienne école n’a pas de cours de français.)  Alors, que faire?

J’ai commencé à étudier le français en avril 2009.  J’utilisais des sites-web pour apprendre le vocabulaire, la grammaire, etc.  Je regardais des interviews et d’autres vidéos sur YouTube pour écouter, pour répéter et parler.  Toutes les sites-web que j’ai trouvé à propos de l’étude des langues m’ont dit que la meilleure façon d’apprendre une autre langue, c’était l’immersion.  O.K., mais comment?  Moi j’habitais au Kentucky, c’est tout à fait impossible d’avoir l’immersion dans une langue qui n’est pas l’anglais.  Alors, je parlais aux gens sur les sites comme Facebook et d’autres forums dédiés aux langues.  Je pouvais écrire et lire, mais parler et écouter, c’était très difficile.

(Et c’est toujours difficile.)

Après deux ans, en 2011, j’ai passé un examen pour apprendre le niveau de français dans lequel j’étais pour prendre des cours ici à Truman.  Même après seulement deux ans, j’étais dans le troisième niveau (aujourd’hui je crois que j’étais vraiment dans le quatrième niveau, mais… bah).

Aujourd’hui, en avril 2014, j’étudie le français depuis cinq ans.  Je suis dans ma troisième année de l’université où j’étudie le français et la traduction française.  J’ai voyagé au Québec deux fois; la première fois pendant quelques jours, la dernière fois pendant cinq semaines.  Je vais obtenir mon diplôme en français dans un an.  Après ça, qui sait?  Je voudrais obtenir un master au Québec en traduction française, mais c’est possible que je vais aller à la France pour enseigner l’anglais pendant un an.  Tout ce que je sais, c’est que ma vie sera entourée par le français, sera faite par le français.  Je sais qu’après cinq ans je fais toujours des erreurs quand j’écris et surtout quand je parle, mais j’essaie très fort, j’ai beaucoup de passion pour cette langue et cette culture.

Alors, aux cinq prochaines année et bien d’autres encore!

In October 2008, thanks to Lauren, I discovered the music of a Québécois singer (whose name you all know, I believe).  He only sang in French and I only spoke English, but I adored his music and I really wanted to understand his lyrics.  The problem was that I wasn’t a student at the time and I didn’t have any way to study French.  (Anyway, my old school didn’t have any French courses).  So, what to do?

I began studying French in April 2009.  I used different websites to learn vocabulary, grammar, etc.  I watched interviews and other videos on YouTube to listen, to repeat and to speak.  All of the websites that I found about the study of languages told me that the best way to learn another language was immersion.  O.K., but how?  I lived in Kentucky where’s quite impossible to be immersed in a language other than English.  So I spoke to people on the websites like Facebook and other forums dedicated to languages.  I could write and read, but speaking and listening was very difficult.

(And it’s still difficult.)

After two years, in 2011, I took a test to learn what level of French I would be in to take courses here at Truman.  Even after only two years, I was in the third level (today I believe that I was really in the fourth level, but… bah.)

Today, in April 2014, I’ve studied French for five years.  I’m in my third year of university where I’m studying French and French translation (and also English).  I have traveled to Québec two times; the first time for a few days, the last time for five weeks.  I will receive my diploma in French in one year.  After that, who knows?  I would like to attain a Master’s degree in Québec in French translation, but it’s possible that I might go to France for a year to teach English.  All I know is that my life will be surrounded by French, will be made by French.  I know that after five years I still make errors when I write and especially when I speak, but I’m trying very hard, I have a lot of passion for this language and this culture.

So here’s to the next five years and many more to come!

Life's not SIMple

Okay, so it’s that time for the monthly blog post that I seem to have become too busy to make.  However, as this blog has been being kept (yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s grammatically accurate) since June 2011 and there has been one post made at least once a month, I am determined to keep it up.  For posterity and all that whatnot.

Since my last post, two pretty cool things have happened.  The first is that I got the job at JBA!  I’ll be a preceptor for Dr. D’Agostino’s creative writing course whose name escapes me, as well as a sort of “camp counselor thing” to a group of girls for three weeks in June.  So my summer is pretty much planned out!  I’ll spend the month of May staying with Kat invading her personal bubble in her apartment (hey, at least I’ll be paying half the rent) and then June will be spent back on campus for JBA.  What does the month July bring?  That brings me to my next “pretty cool thing” that happened.

So there’s this guy.  His name’s Theo.  I like Theo.  He’s my boyfriend and he makes me all fuzzy inside.  I could go on and gush, but his head would get too big and people might want to shoot me due to my gushiness.  Suffice to say that this dude is the bee’s knees (do bees even have knees?).  He lives not toooo far away, but definitely not in the state, so we can now correlate my two points: travel!  At the end of JBA I’m going to catch a ride with Kat and her family on their way down to Florida for their annual vacation.  They’ll drop me off and voilà: I’ll be with Theo!  I’m excited, to put it mildly.  After spending some time with him, I’ll fly to KY to be with my family for a month before flying back to MO to finish out my final year at Truman.  Oh, boy; talk about terrifying.

So I’ve been intensely stressed lately and Lauren, Kat, and Theo are the only ones keeping me sane.  I’m meeting with my advisor tomorrow, though, so hopefully he can help me clear my head a bit in terms of some decisions that I need to make.  I’ve also got an English paper to revise, a French paper to write, not to mention other French work I need to prepare.  Oi.  The Sim I made of myself graduated university with all As and on the Dean’s List—why can’t real university be that easy?

Well, that was unexpected.

So.  Guess who will be the new Vice President for Pi Delta Phi (The National French Honor Society) next semester?  Yep, me.  I know, I'm surprised, too.  I wasn't even planning on running for a single position, but when people were standing up and telling people why they should be the new V.P., I suddenly got the desire to do so, too.  I won't pretend that I made some amazing, grand speech that was incredibly inspiring or anything.  On the contrary, I just made people laugh, told them I had good leadership skills because I had four younger siblings, and then really stressed that I loved PDP, French culture, and how much I wanted to share that love with everyone.  Awww.  Either way, for someone, I got most of the votes.  Weird.

In other news, I had my interview with JBA last Saturday.  I personally think it went well, but I won't know for sure for another week or two.  For some reason, I'm not driving myself insane waiting to hear a response.  Luckily, they'll tell me if I don't get it and won't leave me hanging.  That would suck.  If I get it, then my current plan is to stay in Kirksville after the semester ends for the month of May and the first half of June (which is when I would do JBA) before flying to Kentucky for the rest of June and all of July.  If I don't get the job, then I'll just fly to Kentucky once the semester ends and stay there for May, June, and July.  Kat and I move into our apartment in the beginning of August, so that's when I'd be back.  We'll see!  I think, ultimately, as much as I would love to do JBA, I'll be happy with either decision since I would love to spend three months with my family, as well.  So I've got some good choices!  I wouldn't be "settling" for anything.

Also, thanks to my friend Tyler, I've been having some fun life crises.  I realized the other day that I do not want to get into Library Science.  I don't know why.  Honestly, I've found myself just looking for careers that would allow me to live and work in Québec.  The only job I've had in mind that has remained constant is one: translation.  It's the only one I can imagine myself doing (other than being an author, obviously) where I'd be happy and not really settling for something.  I was looking at grad schools last night, and obviously my dream school would be one in Québec.  At first, I thought the price would be an issue.  But then I did some digging on the government financial aid website and found out that they do offer loans to get a degree abroad, whether it's undergrad or grad school, depending on the school.  The school I have in mind, McGill (although there are other options), is one their list of accepted schools.  Another thing is the fact that the tuition for McGill is about $10,000 to $20,000 cheaper yearly than the schools in the U.S. that offer Master's degrees in French translation.  Obviously there aren't the only factors, but the prospects are looking good!  I'm excited to look into this further.

punch the damask

New year, a new phrase I'm not gonna explain.  Woo!

I generally make an effort to make at least one post a month.  And for the past thirty-one months (holy crap), I've been successful.  All throughout January I've been meaning to write something, but my schedule has been absolutely insane this semester.  So what's the me been up to?

First of all, Kat's back in Kirksville, which means lots of merriment and fun.  It also means apartment hunting for Kat and me since we're going to be spending one more year here in this fabulous town before finally graduating and "spreading our wings," as it were.  Lauren will be graduating this May, so Kathy and I will be left to fend for ourselves.  Hopefully we can manage.

I also started my new job in the Special Collections section of the library here at Truman.  It's actually a pretty daunting task even though I'm just a lowly Reading Room assistant.  My main job is to help patrons who come in looking for a book, whether it be part of a specific collection really old, rare, and/or valuable.  While this may not sound difficult, there's a lot involved and it's a lot to remember.  Because the area doesn't get lots of traffic, most of the time I'm in the back dusting the stacks, looking through piles of newspapers in case something is featured that needs to be archived, or making lists of books for a project.  So far, because I'm still "in training," I haven't really been assigned any big projects or anything like that, which is fine with me.  I actually find the job to be quite stressful, mainly because I'm so worried about messing up.  It's slowly getting better, however, so fingers crossed that it'll continue to do so.

In other news, I finally applied for a position as a preceptor at the Joseph Baldwin Academy, which is a three-week-long program over the summer for gifted middle school students.  If accepted, I'll work in a creative writing class with a professor, as well as be something of a "counselor" for a group of girls, fairly similar to what I did at Girls Camp.  It comes with a $1,400 stipend, so I'm really hoping I get the job.

If I don't, there are some pretty awesome alternatives.  I'll either go to Kentucky to spend the summer with my family (which I may do after JBA, anyway), or I may stay a little longer in Missouri to see Eddie Izzard in St. Louis.  Which. would. be. AMAZING!  So while I would love to have the job, seeing as it would immensely help apartment prospects next semester, I do have other things I could look forward to.

Also, I like Sherlock now.  And Benedict Cumberbatch isn't as ugly as I thought he was.  WOO!

Highlights of 2013

Okay, so that time of year has come once again, the time where we (or mostly I) review the year that has passed!  It has been, perhaps, the most amazing year of my life.  This won't be a terribly long post, but it's pretty mandatory in order to keep up the tradition from the past two years.  So!

What's happened in 2013?  Hmmm.  Let's think.

Gosh, what could it be?

Oh, right.

Québec.

The main highlight of 2013 was, of course, traveling to Québec City, Québec and studying there for five weeks with Lauren.  It was an experience I would never trade.  The only thing that would have made it better would have been if Kat had been there with us.  We missed our bestest friend like crazy, but thank God for Skype, right?

So!  Highlights!

• June 16 - July 3 - I got to fly up to Michigan to spend my grandparents' fiftieth anniversary with them.  It was a wonderful time, and I'm so grateful that they were willing to put up with me for two weeks.  I got to see everyone from that side of the family: my brother and sister, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, my cousins, and my nieces and nephew.  Not to mention I got to see my father, stepmother, and siblings for the first time in five years.  I got to spend some special time bonding with everyone, especially my father when he and I went out to lunch one day.  I also drove around and got lost in Marshall with my sister, Sarah - that was fun - before going with her to pick up Dawn, our older sister.  I have so many great memories of those two weeks.
• July 4 - We spent Independence Day in Canada!  I was amused.  This was also the day we arrived in Québec, which was definitely monumental.
• July 4 - 7 - Lauren, her family, and I got to spend a few days as tourists in and around Québec City.  We saw la chute Montmorency, la basilique Ste-Anne, and we even  went to Trois-Rivières to see their favorite jazz artist, Emilie-Claire Barlow, at le Festivoix!
• July 13 - We tried poutine for the first time.  It was incredible.
• July 27 - Lauren and I took a three-hour bus ride, getting up at 4:30 in the morning, to Montréal.  I got to meet and have vocal coaching from one of my absolute favorite singers, Gabrielle Destroismaisons.  She was so nice, and beautiful, and talented, and it was such an incredible experience.  Not only that, but Lauren got to stay and meet her, as well!
• July 28 - I got to meet my friend, François, for the first time after meeting him several years ago on NaNoWriMo.  He was, apparently, surprised that I liked so many Québécois musicians, me being American, so we got to talking.  We finally met, and he made fun of my French, and we went into a library, rode in the elevators, and left.  It was awesome.
• August 3 - Lauren went back to Montréal for the day and I got to hike up Mont-du-Lac-des-Cygnes.  My feet are still tired.
• August 8 - The big finale of our trip in Québec.  Lauren and I took the ferry to Lévis and saw our favorite singer of all time, the reason we are friends, the reason we were in Québec: Bruno Pelletier.  We got to meet him before his show, we got to meet Ekaterina, a woman we knew online but never in person, we got to see his sound check, we were right in the front for the show itself. . . . Everything was perfect.  It was amazing.
• August 10 and 11 - Not a good highlight.  Lauren and I had a nightmarish trip back to the U.S. thanks to the incompetency of Delta.
• August 29 - I turned 22!  WOO!
• Some point in November - I got a job as an assistant in the school's Special Collections for next semester.

Okay, so it wasn't a short post.  I lied.  Obviously most of the highlights of the year are due to Québec, but that's okay.  I can't wait to go back.  Hopefully I won't have to wait another four years.  All in all, 2013 was absolutely amazing.  Here's hoping 2014 is just as good!