I did all my best to smile

The entry is far less depressing and foreboding than the title, no worries.  As of tomorrow, it will have been a week since I said goodbye to my family.  There has been some homesickness and some tears, but I've gotten through it.  Lauren and Kat have helped me immensely.  No one ever said everything would be completely easy or a total cakewalk, but I'm getting through it.  Difficulties here, difficulties there -- c'est la vie, non?  It's a challenge, but as long as you're able to smile at the end, that makes everything worth it.

I am currently in Hannibal, sitting in the spare room of Kat's house.  She and I have been having a totally awesome SLEEPOVER while Lauren visits with her dad.  It's been pretty cool!  It's actually the first time Kat and I have spent any time just her and me, so it has been fun.  Today we went to the Riverview Park, which is a pretty cool place with trails and everything.  Kat and I went trekking down one of the trails (literally down -- the walk back up was less fun), and then we headed to downtown Hannibal to Java Jive where SHE got this nasty-lookin' coffee milkshake thing, while I got a classic, yummy orange soda.  We also went into this really cool antique shop, and I bought a Victorian-esque choker.  I LOVE IT.  The Victorian/Edwardian eras are my favorite time period -- mainly due to the Titanic, of which I am a complete nerd.  We also went to this popcorn/candy store whose name escapes me, where they had this big map of both the country and the world where visitors can put a sticker of a star to show where they're from.  (Hannibal is very much a tourist town -- think Mark Twain.)  Theeen we headed back.  Tomorrow we're going to the Molly Brown House!  EEEE!!!  I'm so freaking excited.

The Mississippi River -- 'twould be Illinois in the distance.

The three of us went to my Truman orientation on Friday.  I was on my own mostly, however, but I met some pretty cool people.  I'm quite excited for classes to start.  It shall be quite epic, I do believe!  My schedule:

Intermediate French II - MWF - 8:30 - 9:20 - Lobert
Elementary Russian I - MTWRF - 10:30 - 11:20 - Beane
Introduction to Philosophy - MWF - 9:30 - 10:20 - Alexander
Writing as Critical Thinking (TW) - TR - 12:00 - 1:20 - Ahmad
College Algebra (online)

Woo!

A thousand miles

I’M HOMELESS!!!!!!  Exciting, isn’t it?  As of however long ago, I am no longer in Kentucky!  It’s fabulous!  Actually, all throughout yesterday and this morning I completely forgot we were still in Kentucky.  Maybe it’s because hardly anyone we met actually had a southern accent.  It was odd.  As soon as we left Pikeville, people sounded NORMAL!  Sorry, that’s not nice.

I’ll give you a play-by-play, k?  I know you’re (depending on who you is.  WHO ARE YOU?!?!) dying for one.  So!  I slept horribly on the night of the nineteenth.  Like, fer cereal.  It was awful.  I think I woke up at five, then six, then seven, then eight, then finally nine.  And then I just hung around for a little bit.  Although my aunt let me back up her Ford Blazer to straighten it out in the driveway!  It was EXCITING!  (Not really.)  I’ve driven a whole bunch, but I never got my license—I only ever had a permit while living in California, but apparently I’ll be getting my license some time this summer.  BE AFRAID!

After chillin’ out for a while, I got a call from Lauren asking where the turn to my street was, since it’s very abrupt off the highway.  I decided to go meet them out on the corner despite the pouring rain, from the bottom of my adorable, mushy heart.  After standing out there for about five minutes, they arrived and allowed me into their van.  Then there was much glomping to be had.  ‘Twas magical.  After heading back to my house at the end of the street, we loaded up the van with my stuff, said goodbye to my family, and headed out.  (It was a lot more emotional and sentimental than I’m making it sound.)

We went to Applebee’s for lunch, and I got RIBLETS!!!!  With barbecue sauce.  And the waiter was sooo cute, and he kept flirting with all three of us.  He just basically went back and forth.  Then, as we were leaving, he revealed that he had a girlfriend.  Awkwaaaaard.  Then we headed out for Lexington.  It’s about three hours away, but it seemed like a lot less sitting between the TWO COOLEST PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.  We stopped talking only briefly while they each read something and I read Le Petit Prince (which is totally awesome, by the way).

When we arrived in Lexington, we went to Barnes & Noble where I FINALLY was able to by own copy of The Lovely Bones!  I was quite a happy camper.  Despite the fact that I haven’t really touched it yet.  Then we went to dinner at an Italian place called Carrabba’s.  I’ll tell you what I had, k?  I know you’re interested and that you REALLY want to know.  . . . I can’t remember.  OH.  Heh.  Grilled herb chicken with a pile of spaghetti that was bigger than my head.  I think I had half a chicken then stopped.  It’s sad.  I’m not a huge fan of Italian food in general, so I tend to just get what I’m already comfortable with.  Although I did try some zucchini for the first time, and it was AMAZING.  It’s like cucumber in spaghetti sauce—loved it!  But then we got this HUUUUUUGE chocolate cake thing that Lauren, Kat, and I shared.  We also took a picture of it with my Cat in the Hat figurine on top just ‘cause we could.  Then weeee . . . went back to the hotel, according to Lauren.  I don’t really have a memory of this—I blame the food coma.

Then we talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked.  Lauren and Kat went to sleep around one, and I tried to sleep but it was impossible.  Kat and I had the bed while Lauren had the cushion from the chaise in the living room in the suite.  She crashed into the bedroom door twice.  It was humorous.  We TOLD her to get onto the bed, but nooo.  She’s a stubborn little martyr.  Whom I found snuggling a stuffed fox early this morning.  I didn’t take a picture, although I should have to blackmail her for the REST OF HER LIFE.  Not that she’d care.  I FINALLY got to sleep later, and woke up when Kat jabbed her knee into my back.  But she’s adorable while sleeping, so I didn’t wake her up.  ‘Cause I’m a stubborn martyr, too.  Right on.

Then we woke up.  Again.  Aaaaand . . . uhh . . . had breakfast.  I had a HUGE (not) helping of two halves of a strawberry, an orange, and a banana.  LYK WHOA.  I’m a pig, I know.  Then we loaded up in the car and headed to the mall.  IT HAS A DISNEY STORE OMG.  The three of us went kind of crazy.  Although we think the cashier got a kick out of us, gushing about Winnie the Pooh with us, and pretty much just laughing at us.  ‘Twas fun.  I could have LIVED in that store.  It was magical.  The woman said the Simba and Nala merch gets sold out as soon as it arrives, which is depressing.  They DID have a stuffed Zazu, though, which surprised all of us.  I almost got it just because Zazu is kind of rare.  But actually the three of us got our own little mini stuffed animals to “commemorate” the trip.  Lauren got Doug from the movie Up! (which I need to see), Kat got Naveen (as a frog) from The Princess and the Frog, and I got Winnie the Pooh from . . . well, I’m sure you can figure it out.

AND THEN.  We went to Hot Topic, and one of the cashiers gushed to us about bacon, string cheese, and ranch dressing.  I really do NOT get the attraction to bacon that EVERYONE and their mother seems to have, but . . . whatever.  Although I did agree with him that chicken skin is good.  (Don’t judge me.)  Apparently he wanted to wrap bacon in it.  . . . Yum?  I got a keychain of a bat that (according to Kat) looks like a bear.  His name is Chris.  Don’t ask why, please.

And THEEEEN!!!  I almost fell asleep while they drank crap . . . I meeeean coffee from Starbucks.  Then we left.  C’était un moment de métal.  (Look it up.)  We then left Lexington to head for Louisville, where we had lunch sy Pantera, which is a restaurant dedicated to the heavy metal band.  . . . Or not.  Okay, it’s Panera.  With bread.  Basically my sammich was just smoked turkey breast and lettuce since I didn’t want the evils of either tomato or onion.  Ew.  Then . . . . I got slightly weepy.  DON’T JUDGE ME.  I blame it on the smell of Lauren’s onions.

Then we stopped a gas station, where some snotty kid cut in front of me to go to the bathroom.  Little buttmunch.  He’s going to be a criminal one day—I can tell.

It started raining a whooooooole bunch, and I was afraid we were going to DIE.  And a semi-truck in front of us started losing one of its tires.  After a while Lauren’s parental units got tired of hearing us talk (and sing), so we all started listening to our iPods.  And we occasionally made stuffed animals dance.  That’s actually pretty normal for us.

At the moment we are in the wonders of ILLINOIS!  So I guess I’m technically homeless since I no longer live in Pikeville, but I’m not in Missouri yet.  Weird.  I’m typing this as it begins to rain again.  Nothing on the sides of us but fields and trees.  It’s actually quite pretty in Lexington, which surprised me.  I’d never been there before, but it had a lot of ranches, which my mom would have loved.

I do miss my family.  It’s a lot easier for me now than it was three years ago when I went to go live in Georgia with my family.  It’s odd how quickly I fell into step with everyone—it’s as if we haven’t been apart at all, even though it’s been just over a year.  I have a feeling things will continue going well.  The rest of the week’s already been planned out, pretty much.  Orientation at Truman is on Friday, and Lauren and Kat are gonna show me around Truman at some point before then.  Sweet potatoes!  I really can’t wait.  Even though I was in Kirksville last year, I didn’t go on campus—we just drove by it.  Truman wasn’t even really an option for me then.  It’s crazy how so much has changed.

But anywhoodle!  I shall continue this later.  At some point.  When my feet and butt are less numb.  Toodles!  - 3:40pm

Continued.

I’m in Kirksville!  And I’m tired.  We’re going to Truman tomorrow (I think), and they’re going to show me around, and it will be magical.  It will be a moment of metal.  And fairies.  I CAN’T WAIT TO GO TO HASTING’S!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

The sun'll come out the day after tomorrow

It's not the original, but it's VICTOR GARBER and KATHY BATES!  Squee!!

It'd probably be more appropriate to write my "adieu" entry tomorrow, which is my last day here in Pikeville, but I'm bored and the sound of rain and thunder outside gives me the urge to write.  So, shut up and listen!  I'm almost completely finished with packing.  Lauren thinks it's extremely outlandish and unusual that all of my clothes can fit into one large suitcase.  I just . . . don't have a lot of clothes.  The last time I saw her and Kat was last summer, just over a year ago, and I've probably bought maybe two pairs of jeans since then and a handful of shirts.  Most of said shirts were bought recently in preparation for leaving.  Also, I only have . . . *counts* . . . five pairs of shoes, which is probably unheard of for a young woman my age.  Two pairs of (poser) Converse, a pair of those Earth Day-thing sandals, a pair of flip-flops, and a pair of high heels in which I walk like a drunk.  Which is ironic, since I only wear them to church.

Speaking of church!  Tomorrow is my last day at the Pikeville Branch.  Tragic, isn't it?  Not that I've been recently anyway, but still.  I used to be bitter because it's so small, especially compared to the other congregations to which I've belonged throughout my life, but now I've actually grown to like the smallness and the family-like atmosphere.  Guess it's a little late to start liking it, though, huh?  I still don't really like church in general, if we're being perfectly honest.  Many times I've had to be dragged tooth and nail.  I'll probably never be one of those spiritual people who have a preternatural glow about them.  I'll try to survive the heartache.

I'm nervous.  Extremely nervous.  Terrified.  My pessimism has been seeping into every crevice and pore.  Lauren thinks I think too much, and she's not the first person to say so, so it's probably true.  But the thing is, I live in Kentucky, so there's nothing to do but think or mow the lawn.  I'd prefer the former.  I love my two best friends to little tiny bits and pieces, but this experience will be something so new to me.  It's almost like when I went to live with my father and his family in Georgia for a little while when I was sixteen.  It was new, but, even though I hadn't lived with my dad in about seven years, he was still my dad.  He was still that rock of familiarity and comfort that I needed.  There's just something about having a parent with you in an unfamiliar place -- it's kind of like having a beacon of light in a dark cave.  Except now that I'm all grown up (ha!), I can't rely on anyone else to be my "beacon."  Lauren and Kat will be sources of comfort, of course, but maybe I gotta shine my own light.  But still.  There's just something about growing up within the next forty-eight hours, being responsible, being an adult, starting college that is completely terrifying.  Sometimes I wish I could just freeze in a sort of limbo when I see them again.  That way I can be happy, but I won't have to try to function.

Okay, that's it for the metaphorical stuff.  (Sorry.  I'm a writer.  I tend to talk like that.  You'll get used to it.)

Ah, writing.  It's fun.  It's always been my dream to be a published author.  I fancy myself being the next J.K. Rowling, because she is just so intensely magnificent.  Yet I don't have the guts to try to be a Creative Writing major.  Instead I'll go for French with a pre-Master of Arts in Education.  Or something like that.  Why?  Excluding the fact that I adore the French language and that it has, in the past two years, become ma vie and ma passion, it's because the prospect of being a French teacher, or even a freelance translator, is so much more likely than being a published author.  I don't want to focus countless amounts of money and four years into something that might always remain a dream.  I definitely want to take a Creative Writing class, but, as for a major, I'm just not brave enough.

Sail on, little toaster.  Sail on.

Simple and not-so-clean

What's on the agenda for the little procrastinator today?  LAUNDRY!  That's right.  And because I've procrastinated so often, nearly every piece of clothing I own must be washed.  Well, the ones I'm taking with me do.  I should probably continue going through my things found throughout my room, but . . . I don't particularly want to.  No matter what I'm preparing for -- moving, camp, youth conference, a sleepover, a road-trip to Canada, a week-long visit with friends -- I have always hated packing.  I'm constantly reminded that it's better to remember what I'm packing for, but that doesn't take away the fact that I still have to pack.  And I'm not very good at packing, either, as my lovely friend Sarah will confirm.  I think I've gotten better, though.  Especially since I have the need to downsize on nearly everything I own so that it will fit in my friend's van when they come rescue me.  So far, so good.  It's just the clothes and things I'm worried about.  I don't have a lot of clothes, but . . . I guess we'll see how it all works out.

The fact that I'm actually doing actual stuff is shocking.  I haven't even had the time to write recently, which is kind of sad.  But I'll get over it.  The other day I went to the park in downtown Pikeville to hang out with my friends Caitlin and Ellie, and Ellie's children.  'Twas pretty fun, although the saying goodbye part wasn't.  We had pizza from Little Caesar's.  It was good despite pepperoni, which is horrid.  It's odd that I've started saying goodbye to people already.  Most others who are preparing to start college are still enjoying their summer, spending as much time with their loved ones and friends as possible, not worrying about leaving just yet.  Yet everything's changing for me in about four days.  It's kind of terrifying.  I'll be fine, I'm sure, but still.  My little family of five (plus three cats who really don't count) here in Pikeville is probably the only real family I've ever had.  Everything else was so dysfunctional and all over the place.  I've lived in five states throughout my life, attended six different schools (two elementary, one middle, three high schools), and I've constantly been asked if I'm an "army brat" because I've moved so much.  Nope, it's just a combination of different, un-fun things that I couldn't control.  I guess I'm used to going to a new place and starting over.  New house, new school, new friends.  The thing is, I've almost always had my mother and sister with me.  I'll have my two best friends and their families, which is fantabulous, but it'll just take some getting used to, I imagine.

In a way, I actually feel slightly guilty for wanting to leave so badly when I know my family wishes I could stay.  I really hate Pikeville, I must confess.  I've grown to love the people in it, but I guess I dislike the city itself so much because it's been the place where so much crap has happened that I'm taking my anger from that out on the city in general.  But I think I've also grown as a person here, too.  I've done a lot of things I never thought I could, I've made up for things and for mistakes I've made in the past.  Hopefully I can continue getting better and won't fall into the trap of mediocrity again just because it's easier.

Pikeville, Kentucky

This entry was not supposed to be so somber.  Hmm . . . I should fix that.  BOOGA BOOGA!  There we go.

Into the thick of it

The time has come.  It is the beginning of my final week in Pikeville, Kentucky, and it is therefore time for me to start [insert "dun dun DUNNN" here] cleaning my bedroom.  It's turned into something of a sinkhole.  Actually, I wish it had, because then the earth could just eat all the stuff and I wouldn't have to worry about it.  But alas.  So the agenda for Sunday, June 12, 2011 is to make this room habitable for the person who shall inhabit it.  And, you know, just make it possible to walk through without killing yourself or getting bitten on the ankle by the demon rabbit-alligator that lives under the bed.

I removed all the posters from my wall the other day.  It was tragic.  My sister is now the owner of all the Orlando Bloom posters that I've had since I was twelve or thirteen.  He was my first huge obsessive crush.  Now my walls are all naked and ugly.  And there's an odd circular discoloration on the wall to my right -- methinks that the people living here before us had a mirror or something.  Interesting little nugget of info that's actually not very interesting at all.  Every time I look up, I keep expecting to see one of my numerous posters, photographs, and magazine clippings, but there's nothing.  My Glee calendar is still up, but that's because if I don't have it I'll lose track of the days and be oh, so confused.

I feel the need to paint my nails.  But the stuff never stays on very long, despite "protective layers" and all that jazz.  It's annoying.  Can you tell I'm procrastinating the cleaning?  Is it obvious?  Is it?  I'm just sitting here talking about anything and everything, because the thought of getting up and dragging a trash bag into my room to rid myself of this junk is extremely unappealing.

So!  Who's read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold?  I have!  I love it!  I checked it out from the library the other day and finished it in one sitting, which is actually fast even by my standards.  Although, to be fair, it's not a very long book.  But still!  It's an awesome book.  Very trippy and dream-like -- my favorite.  And, yes, I know this isn't college-related, which is supposedly the point of this entire blog.  My family thinks I'm morbid because I tend to read books about death.  (Although, to insert something that is college-related, I totally intend to take a seminar in my junior year about death and dying.  Heh, heh, heh.)

NO, I'm not procrastinating.  Sigh.  Fine, I'll go.

So it begins . . .

I'm not normally the best when it comes to keeping and updating blogs.  I tend to just give up on them when it's apparent that nobody but me reads them.  But I was inspired to after I realized that I will soon (one week left) be leaving my family and will be starting a new life in a brand new place, with brand new people.  So maybe my loved ones and others will be able to experience the fun and not-so-fun things with me.

At the moment I'm living in Pikeville, Kentucky with my mother, my sister, and my two aunts.  Plus three annoying cats who don't really count.  In a week I'll be driving to Kirksville, Missouri to be with one of my best friends for the remainder of the summer before moving into the dorms at Truman State University, where I'll be rooming with said best friend and other best friend!  It's a combination of epic proportions.

Me, Lauren, and Kat

See?  Aren't they awesome?

I can't say how often I'll update this, but hey!  Maybe it'll be fun.