Betwixt et now what?

For a long time, the title of this blog was "Utterly Betwixt."  Originally I chose that title because I love the word 'betwixt.'  (Seriously, it's an awesome word.)  But then I realized that it works pretty well to define my constant state of being: between.  For a long time, I always felt like I was in a state of limbo between what I was and what I was going to be.  I started the blog to chronicle my life at Truman, but now I've graduated college and Truman is a part of my past, not my present.  (Unless you count working there for JBA this summer.)  In a way, I'm still between; that is, I'm between graduation and waiting to move to Montréal and start grad school.  Yet that seems like a whole other chapter of my life, like I'm not between anything anymore.  I'm starting the sequel.  Then the title became "Betwixt et après" ("...and after," in English), and I think I chose that because it was intended to work for after I graduated.  However, the other day, I was doing something (no idea what), thinking about all the places I've lived (six states) and the schools I've attended (two elementary schools, one middle school, three high schools, and one university), and I thought something along the lines of "Me and my nomad life."  Thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born!

No, wait, that's not where that was going.

Anyway.  So the name of the blog has been changed.  As you can see.  And, as you can see, there is a new banner proudly displayed at the top!  It was a collaboration of sorts with Lauren, and when I say collaboration, I mean she did 98% of the work.  The 2% I did consists of the banner itself, i.e. resizing the little mini me and giving it thought balloons.  Lauren drew the me.  Isn't she WONDERFUL?  (Lauren, not the me.  Although the me is awesome!)

So as you might have guessed by now, I've graduated from Truman State University!  It was a pretty crazy weekend, let me just say.  The majority of the people who read my blog were actually here, but that's okay - I'm gonna talk about it anyway!

So my only final exam was on Monday of that last week.  I still had some assignments to do - two papers and finishing up my Capstone - but I knew I could get it done.  I got my biggest paper done on Sunday (and it wasn't due 'til Tuesday - holy crap), and then turned in the rough draft of my French paper on Wednesday night and then got the corrections for it turned in later that week.  So there wasn't too much on the school front that needed to be done.

On Thursday morning, at 10:15, David and I drove to Kansas City to pick up my mom, aunt, and sister from the airport.  I had fretted for a long time about being able to afford to fly them out, but with my grandparents' very generous help and the fact that one of their tickets was paid for by them, it worked out!  Rather than putting them up in a hotel, they all stayed with Kat and me in our apartment.  (It was a tight squeeze, but we managed.)  I must say, it was awesome to be able to finally show them around Kirksville.  Though I've been here for four years, none of them had ever been able to visit, so I was able to show them places like Walmart (ooooh!), Hastings, and Thousand Hills.  We didn't explore as much of Truman as I wanted to, but oh well.

On Friday, a few awesome things happened.  First, Kat and I were able to see our beloved Lauren!  She was able to come down to Kirksville for a few days to see our graduation, and though she arrived late Thursday (or early Friday, rather), we weren't able to see her 'til lunchtime.  It was as if no time had passed.  'Twas awesome.  At 3, my wonderful grandparents arrived from Michigan!  Again, so lucky and blessed that they were able (and willing) to make the trip down.  That evening, we went on campus to attend the Outstanding Honors Award "Banquet" or whatever it was called, where I was given a plaque/certificate of sorts for being chosen as the Outstanding Student in French.  Teehee.  Then it was off to the Nichols' place with the whole motley crue - me, my mom, sister, and aunt, my grandparents, Lauren, and Kat and her mom - for a shindig dedication to whom?  ME!  It was not good for the size of my head.  But it was a lovely, touching evening.

Saturday brought dun, dun, dun . . . graduation.  Kat and I were at Baldwin Hall at about 11:30 because we thought we had to be there super early (they said they'd close the ranks at 12:30 and no one would be allowed in after that, but the ranks weren't closed until about 1:00).  Because of this, however, we had about first pick of seats, so we weren't stuck in the huge throng of people milling about in the aisles.  My feet were already hurting by this point, which was not a good omen for the rest of the day.  At about 2pm or so, they started leading the graduates out.  No one had told me, however, that the walk wasn't just from Baldwin to Stokes Stadium, which is a good distance in and of itself.  No, we were led down to Kirk Memorial, past the fire fountain, then down the quad again to MO Hall (where we were applauded by Residence Life people), and then up the bricks to BNB where we turned right down the brick pathway between the sunken gardens and the Health Center before turning left at Magruder and the library and continued down across the street (which was blocked off by police) past Pershing and into the stadium.

There's our route.  My feet were killing me by the time we arrived at the stadium.  Yeah, it was kind of cool being able to walk around campus which was, for a lot of people, the last time, but still.  Ow.  The moment the bleachers came into view, Kat and I were kind of in awe at how massive the masses were.  As we walked down through the tunnel of professors, shaking hands with the ones who knew us, we found Lauren and her parents fairly easily.  Kat spotted our own families much more easily than I did.  She found them clustered together high up to our left, but for some reason, I couldn't see them.  Finally, however, I caught sight of my grandfather's yellow baseball cap.  Thank God for that, eh?

The ceremony itself was long, as is expected.  It was made even longer by the fact that Missouri's governor himself, Jay Nixon, was there.  He said a few (okay, more than a few) words, mostly about President McCain, one of Truman's presidents who died very recently, and a little bit about us graduates.  The speaker, though, an Vatican astronomer from Detroit, was awesome.  He talked about Harry Potter, so clearly he knew how to get us right where we lived.

Kat's and my group was Group One, which is everyone but the Bachelor of Science students and the grad students.  It didn't seem like we were waiting long 'til it was our turn to line up.  So I slipped my shoes back on and stumbled behind the dude beside me with Kat behind me.  We managed to get seats on the left side of the field, which was exactly what I'd been hoping for, as that was the side Dr. Burton was on, as well as Dr. Paino, Truman's president, so I'd get to see both of them and shake the latter's hand.  Even more luckily, that was also the side Truman's registrar, whom I adore, was on, so I got to give her a hug before I climbed onto the stage.  And the luckiest of all: my name was pronounced perfectly!  Apparently my family cheered for me, but I heard nothing.

Originally the plan was for me to go what's called the Mall, which is the fountain area in front of the SUB (the student union) and a long, brick pathway that connects the fountain and SUB McClain Hall, running between the administrator parking lot and the back of the library.  There was a reception being held there, and I had planned to meet up with two of my French professors, Dr. Lobert and Professor Manning, to see them and say goodbye, as neither of them walked in the ceremony.  However, given the extreme agony of my feet and the need to take my family back to the apartment, I elected to change my plans, not even sure if the professors would even be there.  Unfortunately, they were there waiting for me.  Luckily, Lauren went there and told them about the change of plans, which they were fine with, and invited them to the shindig at the apartment.  Though neither were able to come, I contacted them both and apologized and said I'd be in K-ville all summer and that we should get together at some point.  So yeah, that happened.

The shindig in question was meticulously arranged by Kat's mom, Connie, and featured her family in addition to mine, including Lauren's dad and stepmom.  So our apartment was quite literally full, but it was awesome!  People started filtering out around six, at which point I drove Lauren back to her place.

The next day, Mothers' Day, was a great deal calmer.  (Although Lauren left that day, so that was depressing.)  Mostly we just kind of loafed around until around four when my grandparents came over and took us out to Ruby Tuesdays.  And when I say "took," I mean Emily rode with them and I took my mom and aunt in the van.  They were already sooo proficient in navigating around Kirksville that they didn't need my help.  Humph.  But they DID treat us, which was incredibly generous and kind.  Have I mentioned they rock?  Because they do.  After dinner, we all hung out at my apartment for a while, laughing and recounting old, embarrassing stories of when Emily and I were young, before it was time to say goodbye, as my grandparents were heading back to Michigan early the next morning.

On Monday, we went to Thousand Hills again, this time armed with cameras.  It was a bit colder than before, and a hell of a lot windier, but it was still fun.  The four of us went down to a boat docking area and fooled around, being goofs and whatnot.  After that we dropped my mom and aunt back off at the apartment and Emily and I went to Hastings, a place she had been dying to visit since I first told her about it.  For those who don't know, Hastings is a nerd's paradise: it's got books, movies, games, toys, trading cards, board games, TV shows, comic books, music, electronics, gaming systems, posters... everything you can imagine except food, really.  So you can imagine why she was anxious to go there.  After spending an ungodly amount of time there (teehee), we headed back to the apartment to get the old people and go to dinner at Nurachi, the local Mongolian BBQ.  When we got home, Emily, Kat, and I played video games in which we slaughtered each other, and then all of us played The Game of Life (classic board game style).  I won.  By far.  Teehee.  I had four kids, although one was an extreme idiot.  Aunt Carol also drowned her partner in a pool on accident.  Mom was a teacher and then suddenly became a doctor.  They didn't like my banking skills.  Emily said her husband's name was Djali.  Pretty sure Kat was the most normal.

We left for Kansas City at about 5am the next morning with David.  The drive was quick (three hours, rather) and painless, and luckily the airport is small.  We got them checked in for their flight with minimal problems and then, unfortunately, it was time to say goodbye.  Despite the fact that I know I'll see them in about three months, it still sucked saying goodbye.  Sigh.

Anyway, this post has been insanely long.  For those who just skipped to the bottom, here's what you missed: a large portion of my family came to visit; as did Lauren; laughs were had; I graduated college.  So, yeah, I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in French now.  And I got all As this semester.  Ashlee is rather happy, kids.

As always: sail on, little toaster.  Sail on.

France or Québec?

Most (if not all) of you reading this will know that a big decision has fallen onto my lap over the past month.  It started earlier this month, around April 10th or so, that I learned I had been accepted into the program TAPIF (Teaching Assistant Program in France), which is program (wow, I say 'program' a lot) for American university students to teach English in France (or a French territory) for seven months.  Along with several of my friends here at Truman, I was accepted.  They placed me in Lille (not necessarily the city itself, but somewhere around there), which is the extreme north of France, just a hop, skip, and a jump away from the Belgian border.

After receiving a rejection from one of the grad schools I applied to, TAPIF became more and more the way to go.  I started saying I was 95% sure that I was going, even if one of the other two schools I applied to accepted me, because I could most likely defer my admission and go later.

Then it actually happened.  On April 28, nearly three months after I submitted my application, I received an offer of admission into Concordia University's Master of Arts program (specifically in Littératures francophones et résonances médiatiques).  Concordia was my top choice in schools ever since I visited it last November and has always been on my "list."  I simply couldn't believe it when I was accepted.  Everyone around me told me that they believed I would get into grad school, but I couldn't believe them.  Then I did.

But it wasn't that simple.  TAPIF was still an option.  So was Concordia.  I had the biggest decision of my life to make and no one could make it for me.  I talked to different people, some biased, some un-biased, to get their opinions, but in the end, it was I who had to make the call.  I weighed the different pros and cons for both places.  I thought about it seriously, intently, and with my head and not my heart.  I wanted to make the right decision for me.  That's the keyword here: for me.  Both are amazing, irreplaceable opportunities, both in which I would be lucky to participate.  Yet I can't do both.  At least not at once.  They both start and end around the same time, so, obviously, I can't do both at once.

So I made my decision.

And I am proud to announce that this Fall, I will be a first year graduate student at Concordia University.

I know there will be people who are surprised and who think I'm making the wrong decision.  But I know this is the right decision for me.  I've been told that there are places out there other than Québec, and this is true; but there are also places other than France.  And I'd like to visit them all, but Québec is where I truly want to be.  I have waited six years for this.  Plus, it IS possible that I can do TAPIF later on.

Let me just say, I didn't know it was possible to be this happy.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  Thanks so much to everyone for their support, advice, and kindness.