A Halestorm of emotions

Fldfgkorgkldfgr.

That's the only accurate word to describe the amazingness that was the Halestorm concert.  On August 16, Lauren, Kat, and I drove two-and-a-half hours to the MO State Fair to see one of our favorite bands, Halestorm, in concert.  It was Lauren's first rock concert and Kat's and my first rock concert since Megadeth two years ago.  We were so beyond excited.  In the weeks leading up to the gig, the weather consistently warned of rain and scattered thunderstorms all that day.  It was an outdoor show, and we were nervous, but what could we do?  We couldn't prevent rain or lightning, so we just had to go with it and hope for the best.

We left Kirksville at about twelve-thirty that day, with yours truly as the navigator, and arrived in Sedalia, MO at about three o'clock.  We checked into our hotel (Motel 6 - wouldn't recommend it, but we needed a place to sleep), stopped at a Starbucks nearby, and then walked about twenty minutes to the fairgrounds.  For some reason, I was expecting something along the lines of the Folklife Festival, which is an art fest held ever October in Hannibal.  Boy, was I wrong.  I was repeatedly reminded that this was a state fair.  Yes, sir, it was.  It was huge.  We walked around for a couple of hours, positively melting in the humidity and heat, before joining the lengthening line in front of the grandstand.  All the while, dark clouds continued to roll our way and pass over us peacefully.

The opening act was a group called Sevendust.  God, they were amazing.  I don't know why, but there was just something we all loved about that group.  The lead singer, Lejohn, was fun, and said he was so happy to be there and happy to be able to go home that night, as he lives in Kansas.  At some point, Kat spotted the lead singer of Halestorm, Lzzy Hale, watching from the side, and I promptly freaked out.

The worst part about any show is always waiting for the first act to clear up and waiting for the second act to get set up.  (It was even worse with Evanescence two years ago, as they had two opening acts and I was standing the whole time.)  At least we were sitting.  Our seats were on the bleachers, and the seating map had made it seem like we'd be waaay far away from the stage, but our view was incredible!  No one was in front of us, so it was perfect!  The only downside was that there was a chainlink fence separating us from the track seats, but hey, you can see through those.  While we were waiting, I started noticing lightning off to the right.  So far we'd been immeasurably lucky, but what if the storm approached and they had to cancel the show?  I was nervous, but I kept my fears to myself.

Finally, the light in the stands went out, the lights on the stage came on, and the show began.  Halestorm emerged, and the world seemed to transform.  Honestly, there is something amazing about rock and metal music that I absolutely love.  It's one thing to hear it on your iPod, but to hear it live . . . there's nothing else like it.  To be able to physically feel the drum beats resonating in your body, to feel the music pulsing within you, to lose all inhibitions and just get lost everything - the sights, the sounds, the rhythm.  Halestorm has a song called Rock Show that perfectly describes how I felt at the Evanescence, Megadeth, and now the Halestorm shows.  The song goes:

"At the rock show

You'll be right in the front row.

Heart and soul, we both know

It's where you gotta be.

Yeah, at the rock show,

Getting high on the solo.

So what if it's crazy?

It's where you gotta be!"

Followed by:

"This goes out to anyone

Whose heart beats like a kick drum

When a bitchin' riff comes,

Lose the words to every rhyme, every time

And you know you gotta go

 And get some, get pumped,

Find yourself and lose it

At the rock show!"

That song is perfect.  It's my absolute favorite song of theirs, and I was sooo happy when they performed it at the show.  It's my sort of anthem.  But yeah.  The show was amazing.  It ended waaaay too soon.

Well.  'Tis August 19th.  Today marks the twenty-third birthday of one half of my two best friends, Kathy.  And yesterday was the twenty-third birthday of the other half of my two best friends, Lauren.  Ten days from now, I'll turn twenty-three myself.  Pretty crazy, right?  Three best friends whose birthdays are within eleven days from each other.  (Actually, since one was born in the evening and the other in the morning, Lauren and Kat are only a few hours apart in age.)  Every year, Lauren's parents take the three of us to St. Louis for the day, usually on Lauren's birthday, to celebrate all our birthdays.  This year marked my third trip, though I have a sort of photo collage that represents four (soon-to-be-five) summer trips to the Cheesecake Factory.

So let's go over them, shall we?

June 2, 2010

I first visited Missouri in June of 2010 when Lauren's parents very graciously sent me a plane ticket to fly out to visit for a week without having ever met me in person.  (This was not, of course, the first time I ventured into places unknown with people I'd met on the Internet.)  We went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner at the Galleria mall in St. Louis and snapped this photo of the three of us.  'Twas the start of an awesome week.

June 21, 2011

Just over a year later, Lauren, her parents, and Kat made the voyage out to Pikeville to pick me up and take me to live in Kirksville, where I have since been studying for the past three years.  When we arrived in St. Louis, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and ended up in a round booth again, so we decided to take the same shot as the year before.  Look how much our hair grew!

August 17, 2011

Our birthday celebration that year was held at Café Provençal, a French restaurant in St. Louis, so we didn't continue our "round-booth-picture" tradition.  As Lauren got slight food poisoning, we never went back and the next year we continued with our original tradition of eating at the Cheesecake Factory.

August 18, 2012

The next year, for our twenty-first birthdays, was exceedingly fun.  Not only did we get to see the Broadway production of The Lion King at The Fox, but that was the year I got my first (and only) American Girl doll, Rebecca.  As someone who spent her whole childhood wishing she could have one, getting one with my middle name who is from my favorite time period was very special to me.  We spent the night in St. Louis, and then, on Kat's birthday, she spent the day with her parents while Lauren, her parents, and I were off to the St. Louis Zoo!

August 18, 2013

Last year, for our twenty-second birthdays, we continued the tradition!  We did the same this year, as well, but I don't yet have access to the picture we took, soooo that'll be edited in later this evening.  I must say, I've always been pretty special in that, since my birthday is eleven and ten days after theirs and school is always in session, I've gotten my own separate celebrations in addition to the ones in St. Louis.  My birthday always tends to have its own tradition, as we usually always go to Colton's, the local steakhouse.  This year my birthday is FINALLY on a Friday, and neither Kat nor I have classes on Fridays!  Lauren will spend the night with us at our apartment, we'll go to Colton's, watch movies (and Buffy and Angel), have cake, and have a blast!  I can't wait!

But until then.  Classes start on Thursday.  I bought most of my text books today.  This displeases me.

Huh.

After three years of writing in this blog, I think I'm starting to run out of entry title ideas.

The last week or so has been pretty crazy and fun.  I finally got to "reveal" what I've been working on since May, which was the official American fan page for my favorite singer, Bruno Pelletier.  It feels crazy to say that, but it's true: it's official!  How many people can say they help run an official page for their favorite singer?  Not many, I'd wager.  Sure, I've made a handful of fansites in my time - mainly Harry Potter - but obviously they were never official or even known of by many people.  But hey, this garnered a status update on Bruno's official Facebook by his web team, plus a comment by Bruno himself.  Pretty exciting stuff!

The website is made through Wix, a free web hosting place.  It's not too terribly difficult to do, but the builder can be extremely finicky in terms of layers, where things are placed, and that sort of thing.  The main bulk of the website only took me a couple of weeks to finish, I think, but it didn't debut until last week, along with a new Twitter account.  Actually, I had a scare the day before the website went "live" because I couldn't sign onto the account and wasn't receiving any password reset emails.  Eventually, I got it all figured out, but it was rather terrifying.  Obviously I need to get into the account to make changes and additions - the very last thing I wanted was to have to rebuild the whole thing.  Yikes.  While the website was physically (or non-physically) built by me, however, I would be nowhere without my fellow admins, Ekaterina and Sarah.  They're the bestest.

In other news, I clicked on the link to my blog this morning and it was deleted.  Needless to say, I freaked out a bit.  As I said earlier, I've poured three years of my life into this thing.  For some reason, I later learned, it locked due to unusual activity.  I had to get a text message sent to my phone with a code in order to change my password.  'Twas strange.  But hey, I've access to my account, so that's all that matters, right?

In other other news, I've been rather sentimental lately, mainly because this time last year I was in Québec.  I mean, if all goes well for me, I'll hopefully heading back there for grad school next year, but still.  This past weekend was the anniversary of my vocal coaching with the wonderful Gabrielle Destroismaisons and spending the day with my friend François in Montréal.  Actually, apparently today is the anniversary of me writing the blog about the weekend I spent there.  Good timing, eh?

d'où je viens

A gif I made from the music video for D'où je viens

The entry title is actually just the title of Julie Zenatti's newest song, but I thought it fit, seeing as it means "Where I come from," and I'm currently writing this from Kentucky.  Granted, I don't come from Kentucky, but my family is here, so that counts for something, right?

JBA was a totally awesome experience, and I'm really hoping to be able to participate next year, as well.  I met some great people - staff and students alike - and had some really fun, awesome experiences, such as driving terrifying vans, playing murderous dodgeball, off-key karaoke, an all-nighter, and a ten-year-old falling in love with me at the roller rink.  All in all, a pretty fun time.

Originally I had thought that I would move out of the dorms on the twenty-eighth, the same day as the students, and so booked my plane ticket for the thirtieth so I could have a full day with Lauren, Kat, and Lauren's family before flying out.  Wrong.  I didn't move out until the twenty-ninth, so I got an evening with them.  But still fun!  We got up early on the morning of the thirtieth and took the drive to St. Louis.  It's all become pretty routine now - me checking in, them getting Starbucks and waiting for a bit, before walking to security and saying goodbye.  However, on the way home I have a layover in Atlanta, and I hate that airport.  Also it's Delta.  Boo.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  I've spent a lot of time relaxing and spending time with my family.  On Sunday will get together with my aunts to celebrate Aunt Carol's and my birthdays.  Hers is actually coming up on August 3, whereas mine isn't until the 29th, but this is the first time I've been home around my birthday since I turned nineteen, so I'm included in the celebration.  Wee!

One of my main methods for spending time has been re-reading the Harry Potter series.  I started Philosopher's Stone (I'm not trying to make a point; the copy I have really is PS, not SS) just before JBA and finished that and Chamber of Secrets by the time JBA ended.  I read Prisoner of Azkaban in about a day-and-a-half and brought it and Goblet of Fire with me to Kentucky.  I got through GoF a little while ago, and am now a quarter of the way into Order of the Phoenix.  In addition, I've been watching the movies as I go along, and just started PoA, which fills me with rage due to all of the continuity errors.  Anyway.

The past week or two have also been rather sentimental due to the fact that Lauren and I were in Québec this time last year.  I'd like to say I'll be back there by this time next year to start grad school, but nothing is certain.  To be honest, the upcoming school year has me terrified.

Let the storm rage on

Pretty much the main reason I'm writing this is because I'm starting JBA tomorrow (or today, rather) and since it runs to the very end of June, I'm worried about not having time to write in here before I leave for Kentucky, which is on the thirtieth.  And, as I force myself to write a post at least once a month, voilà.

The first "vacation" portion of the summer has winded down for me and my two bestest friends.  Lauren has started work and Kat has started her summer classes and tomorrow I move into the dorms for the final time to begin my three weeks as a preceptor for JBA.  I'm pretty dang excited.

Speaking of "dang," for the past few days Lauren and Kat have inflicted upon me a swear jar to cure my . . . problem so it won't be a, y'know, problem in front of the middle schoolers I'll be supervising.  It's a great idea, and it's working, but golly it's hard.  I also have the problem of when I swear, I end up swearing even more to let off frustration.  Oops.

Chicago was positively amazing.  The ladies and I spent three days there, visiting the Field Museum (including the largest, most complete T. rex ever found), Navy Pier, the Skydeck at Willis Tower, Millennium Park, plus taking a Water Taxi and a subway.  Fun stuff!  It was truly unforgettable, and I'm so glad we got to do it.

It's currently storming outside with pounding rain on the windows and constant thunder and lightning.  We're under about six different advisories, including a flash flood warning and a tornado watch.  It's fun stuff.  I think I'll go curl up into a ball now.

Oh d-d-d-d-dear

It is probably not a good thing for one to realize in the months leading up to one’s final year of college, the last leg before they receive their two Bachelor of Arts degrees, that they have no idea what they’re doing with their life.  Because, ladies and gentlemen, I am there.

I have changed career ideals so many times in my life.  From what I can remember, I have wanted to be a singer, a writer, an actress, a journalist, a paleontologist, a pediatric oncologist, a teacher, a NICU nurse, a translator, a professor, and a library archivist.  I would still love to be all of those things, however there’s only so much a degree in French and a degree in English can do for you, and when I say “so much,” I mean “hardly anything.”

Let’s be honest here.  What do I really, really want to do with my life?

It’s simple.

I want to live in Québec.

Honestly, that’s all I want.  If I never meet Monsieur le Prince Charmant, that would be okay, as long as I lived in Québec.  Maybe it’s a weird dream.  Maybe most women my age want to meet a guy and settle down with him.  Maybe they want to find a guy they’d be willing to follow to the ends of the earth.  But after five years of dreaming of a place and not a person, the ends of my earth stop at the border.  The only career dream I’ve retained throughout my life is to be a novelist, and, let’s face it, that’s not too likely.  However, now, the summer before my final year of undergrad, I’m starting to fear that living in Québec isn’t too likely, either.

I would do anything to live in Québec.  I would translate, which is the current goal.  I would teach, which is near impossible because I don’t have a B.A. in Education.  I would marry a wonderful man, be a mother, and be a housewife, never actually utilizing my degrees.  That’s all fine and dandy.  All I want to do is get there, and I can’t help but fear that everything is going to tumble down around me as I get closer and closer to finding out whether or not it will actually ever happen.  Why can’t this be easy?  Why can’t I just say I’ll be a translator and head north?  Because being a translator won’t make me a whole lot of money, plus it’s rather complicated to become a certified translator.

People have asked, “Why Québec?”  It’s not something that’s easily explained.  More and more as of late, when people learn that I’m a French major, the first question is, “Have you been to France?”  No, I have not been to France.  Would I like to go there?  Sure.  Is it a priority?  No.  I would love to go to France one day, just like I would also love to go to Russia, Romania, or Italy.  Hell, I just want to travel Europe someday.  But do I want to live in Europe or, more specifically, in France?  No.

So why Québec?  Well.  I have lived in six states throughout my life and have moved approximately eleven times, give or take.  I was born in Michigan and have since lived in California (two separate times), Utah, Kentucky, Georgia, and now Missouri.  I attended two elementary schools, one middle school, and three high schools.  Where am I from?  I don’t know.  When people ask that question, it takes me a second.  I don’t say I’m from Michigan because I only spent two years of my life there.  I only spent three years in Kentucky and four months in Georgia.  So that leaves it down to Utah and California, where I spent about six and seven years respectively.  Generally, I tell people I’m from California because that’s where I spent my adolescence.  Am I a Californian?  Maybe kind of not really.  Is California my home?  No, and it hasn’t been since I was seventeen.

But Québec.  I first traveled there in 2009 at the age of eighteen when my dear friends Sarah and Gloria were kind enough to take me with them to see Bruno Pelletier in concert.  I only spent a few days in Montréal, but it made a lasting impression.  Then, in the summer of 2013, I spent over a month in Québec City.  I cannot recall a time where I felt more complete.  I felt different in Québec.  I felt whole.  I felt like I was part of something.  I felt like I was, for the first time, in a place that loved me as much as I loved it.  I have never felt more at home in any place in the entire United States than I did in Québec.  And it was only a month.  A month out of almost twenty-three years.

I would do anything to go back.  Teach, whether it be in primary, secondary or Cégep; translate; work in the tourism industry, anything.  I just want to be there.  I would like to believe that I could just fly up there, get an apartment, and the rest will just fall into place, but I know that’s not the case.  I know I need to work hard to get there.  But right now, as my senior year approaches, when I’m worried about what to get my M.A. in, if I’ll even get in to grad school, if I should take a year off first . . . everything is terrifying.

It's gonna be MAY

I've tried numerous times to actually get this entry written and it's failed each time, so I'm just going to go for it.  I refuse to skip a month when I've had a post each month for almost three years.

So!  What's been going on since I last updated?  Well, the French play happened.  The Pi Delta Phi initiation and banquet happened (at which point I became the new vice president).  Finals happened.  I finished my job in Special Collections.  I bought plane tickets to see my family this summer.  We cleaned up the dorm and moved out.  Lauren graduated college.  I started a "secret" project that I'm really excited about.  I carted my clothes to Kat's apartment to stay with her until I start JBA.

I think that's about it.  I've been meaning to write for a while, but hey, I got everything down I needed to say in just a paragraph.  Cool!

Countdowns:

2 weeks and 5 days until I start JBA

1 month and 15 days until I fly to Kentucky

3 months and 1 week until classes start.

WOO.  That was easy.

Ces cinq années

(An English translation of this post is below.)

En octobre 2008, grâce à Lauren, j’ai découvert la musique d’un chanteur québécois (dont vous connaissez tous le nom, je crois).  Il ne chantait qu’en français, et moi je parlais seulement anglais, mais j’adorais sa musique et je voulais bien comprendre ses paroles.  Le problème, c’était que je n’étais pas étudiante à l'époque et je n’avais pas de moyen d’étudier le français.  (De toute façon, mon ancienne école n’a pas de cours de français.)  Alors, que faire?

J’ai commencé à étudier le français en avril 2009.  J’utilisais des sites-web pour apprendre le vocabulaire, la grammaire, etc.  Je regardais des interviews et d’autres vidéos sur YouTube pour écouter, pour répéter et parler.  Toutes les sites-web que j’ai trouvé à propos de l’étude des langues m’ont dit que la meilleure façon d’apprendre une autre langue, c’était l’immersion.  O.K., mais comment?  Moi j’habitais au Kentucky, c’est tout à fait impossible d’avoir l’immersion dans une langue qui n’est pas l’anglais.  Alors, je parlais aux gens sur les sites comme Facebook et d’autres forums dédiés aux langues.  Je pouvais écrire et lire, mais parler et écouter, c’était très difficile.

(Et c’est toujours difficile.)

Après deux ans, en 2011, j’ai passé un examen pour apprendre le niveau de français dans lequel j’étais pour prendre des cours ici à Truman.  Même après seulement deux ans, j’étais dans le troisième niveau (aujourd’hui je crois que j’étais vraiment dans le quatrième niveau, mais… bah).

Aujourd’hui, en avril 2014, j’étudie le français depuis cinq ans.  Je suis dans ma troisième année de l’université où j’étudie le français et la traduction française.  J’ai voyagé au Québec deux fois; la première fois pendant quelques jours, la dernière fois pendant cinq semaines.  Je vais obtenir mon diplôme en français dans un an.  Après ça, qui sait?  Je voudrais obtenir un master au Québec en traduction française, mais c’est possible que je vais aller à la France pour enseigner l’anglais pendant un an.  Tout ce que je sais, c’est que ma vie sera entourée par le français, sera faite par le français.  Je sais qu’après cinq ans je fais toujours des erreurs quand j’écris et surtout quand je parle, mais j’essaie très fort, j’ai beaucoup de passion pour cette langue et cette culture.

Alors, aux cinq prochaines année et bien d’autres encore!

In October 2008, thanks to Lauren, I discovered the music of a Québécois singer (whose name you all know, I believe).  He only sang in French and I only spoke English, but I adored his music and I really wanted to understand his lyrics.  The problem was that I wasn’t a student at the time and I didn’t have any way to study French.  (Anyway, my old school didn’t have any French courses).  So, what to do?

I began studying French in April 2009.  I used different websites to learn vocabulary, grammar, etc.  I watched interviews and other videos on YouTube to listen, to repeat and to speak.  All of the websites that I found about the study of languages told me that the best way to learn another language was immersion.  O.K., but how?  I lived in Kentucky where’s quite impossible to be immersed in a language other than English.  So I spoke to people on the websites like Facebook and other forums dedicated to languages.  I could write and read, but speaking and listening was very difficult.

(And it’s still difficult.)

After two years, in 2011, I took a test to learn what level of French I would be in to take courses here at Truman.  Even after only two years, I was in the third level (today I believe that I was really in the fourth level, but… bah.)

Today, in April 2014, I’ve studied French for five years.  I’m in my third year of university where I’m studying French and French translation (and also English).  I have traveled to Québec two times; the first time for a few days, the last time for five weeks.  I will receive my diploma in French in one year.  After that, who knows?  I would like to attain a Master’s degree in Québec in French translation, but it’s possible that I might go to France for a year to teach English.  All I know is that my life will be surrounded by French, will be made by French.  I know that after five years I still make errors when I write and especially when I speak, but I’m trying very hard, I have a lot of passion for this language and this culture.

So here’s to the next five years and many more to come!