Utterly Betwixt?

If you have found this post, then it is because you are my friend on Facebook.  Congratulations!  Or maybe you just Googled "Ashlee R. Estep."  I don't know.  Either way, pretentiousitchy.blogspot will no longer get you anywhere.  I decided to change the title and URL of my blog to another random phrase that I like pretty well.  "Betwixt" is probably my favorite word, and since it means "between," and my life always seems to be in some sort of phase of being in between, I thought it was appropriate.  Or maybe I just like the phrase.  I dunno, you decide.  I also implemented (heehee, big word) a new design.  Don't you love having Loki stare at you?

I have been completely (and utterly) exhausted as of late.  I applied for a job a while back, had an interview late last month, and found out last Friday that I didn't get the job.  It's disappointing.  The job would have given me a $1,500 stipend and it meshed perfectly with my schedule for the summer (what with going to Québec and all that), and I really wanted the job.  It would have been fun.  But alas, I didn't get it.  I went to my ex-boss in the CML department to see if I could work as an office assistant again for May, June, and August, but they're unsure about being able to hire extra workers.  There's also the possibility of taking a class either here at Truman (which is expensive) or at MACC, Kirksville's community college (which is cheaper).  While I would love to take a computer science course here, I know there's no possibility of a CS minor, even if I'm really good at it, because it requires too many hours for me to graduate on time.  So maybe I'll take Statistics at MACC this summer before I go to Québec.  (Provided that the course starts and ends before need to leave - therein lies the problem.)

Despite the fact that I have been completely (and utterly) exhausted as of late, I am extremely wired right now.  This might have something to do with the fact that I had to take pills that contained caffeine in order to combat my monster headache this morning.  Who knows?  It also helped that a girl with whom I was working on an assignment for my French grammar class and I did really well on said assignment.  Boo ya!  Although my hyperness is lessened somewhat due to the fact that I have been trying to get a hold of a professor to arrange an important meeting for over a week, and when said professor finally emails me back, said professor can only meet at times in which I am either taking a test or working.  GAH!  I don't know what to do.  Right now, curling into a ball and rocking unsteadily back and forth seems to be a good option.  Or screaming.  That sounds good, too.

Truman Scream

Usually loud screaming is reserved for Finals Week.  There's a bi-annual (and by "annual," I mean the school year) group scream in which frustrated, stressed out college students gather together and make a whole lot of noise before finals start.  I have never participated myself, but now I find myself wishing that there was a group scream for the first week of classes.  Never before have I had so much trouble with textbooks.  Sure, there have been some issues.  For instance, the literary criticism anthology we ordered from Amazon last semester was in horrible condition and we had to send it back, but that was rectified before the semester began.  I've never started classes without all my textbooks, and now the first week is almost over and I'm still missing three.

I arrived back from Pikeville on Wednesday, and we returned to Kirksville from Hannibal on Friday.  On Saturday we went to Patty's Bookstore to buy our textbooks.  I was able to buy most of them, but not any of my French books or my Linguistics book.  It just so happened that neither of my French professors sent Patty the info for their assigned books, so we headed over to the campus bookstore.  I was able to get two of my French books, but the other books and the Linguistics book were still M.I.A.  This was very frustrating in and of itself, but I ordered one French book and the Linguistics book on the bookstore's website.  For some reason, my list of textbooks said that the remaining French book was "Special order" and to contact the bookstore.  We did, and no one had any idea where it was.  We were told that it might arrive by Friday.

Guess who has an assignment due on Friday using that book?  Moi.  When I called the bookstore yesterday to inquire as to the status of said "special order" book, they had no idea.  They could give me no information whatsoever, so with a loud "SCREW IT!" (not to them, of course), I ordered the book from Amazon.  (This was not done originally because it looked like most of the books were from overseas, but then I found one in New York).  I emailed my professor and told him about my find, and he forwarded the email to the rest of the class (there are seven of us) since they'll be unable to get the book from the bookstore, either.  So hopefully that book will arrive soon.

But then there's the Linguistics book.  We were told that it should arrive on Friday, which is fine.  But then my professor sent out this email saying that she had been told that the textbooks were finally in.  Again, fine.  Except I already paid for my copy and received no email telling me to go pick it up.  So even though it's sitting there on the shelf, I can't have it.  Luckily the professor was kind enough to scan the pages for us so we could do the assigned reading.  Hopefully she'll continue to do so if I'm unable to get my book by tomorrow.

Sorry for the rant.  It's just. so. frustrating.  None of these problems are the professors' fault.  It's just a bunch of horrible mix-ups.  But they make me want to bash my head against the wall.

So.  Moving on.  How has the rest of my 2013 been so far?  Pretty okay.  I'm liking most of my classes, it's nice to be back on campus, but still.  I'm not at my happiest.  I miss my family, for one thing.  For another, not all of my financial aid has come in, so my Work Study paycheck goes automatically to my tuition and not my bank account like it normally does.  For another, I need to prepare to fill out the applications for study abroad and the scholarships for it, but I can't do anything until someone else does something and DJFS:FJSLDFND:FHDL.

I really need a good scream.

Highlights of 2012

I know the year’s not quite over, but I’m bored and want to do this post now.  Hopefully I’ll actually have something to do on New Year’s Eve that would render me unable to write this at the correct time, but let’s not all get our hopes up.

The year 2012 has definitely been interesting to say the least.  It was filled with concerts, homework, French, and lots of papers to right.  Since I was in school the whole year (whereas last year it was only the last half of which), this year has been quite a bit more stressful.  When I made my “Highlights of 2011” post last time, it was filled with stuff about re-taking the ACTs, applying to schools, and getting accepted to Truman.  I’m totally over the joy of being accepted; now I just want to survive. :P

So what are some highlights?

• Saw my favorite band of all time, Evanescence, on April 25 in St. Louis, MO
• I went with my good friend Alicia to St. Louis on a Wednesday afternoon during our freshman year after we had finished up all our classes for the day.  We arrived in time to line up outside The Pageant and had the most awesome of times.  We spent the night at her place not far from the venue and arrived back in Kirksville in time for me to go to work and attend my two classes of the day.

• Saw my other favorite band of all time, Megadeth, on May 15 in Indianapolis, IN
• This happened not long after I finished my freshman year.  Though Megadeth was coming to St. Louis, it would be for a festival, whereas Kat and I wanted to see them in a concert (hopefully indoor) setting.  We lucked out when we found that one of their only solo concerts of the tour (meaning without Rob Zombie) would be approximately five hours away from us.  The kicker?  Their opening act was Lacuna Coil, a band Kat and I both love to bits.  The show was incredible.

• Finally got my driver’s license
• Hallelujah!  Would have gotten it sooner, but school keeps one busy.

• Became a peer tutor for beginning French students
• It’s definitely an experience.  It makes one question their desire to be a teacher at all, but hey, I’m still going for it.

• Lived in my own apartment for the first time over the summer
• Again: definitely an experience.

• Turned the big 21!
• WOO!  WOO!  WOO! WOOOOOO!!!  Since Lauren, Kat, and I all turned twenty-one around the same time (eleven days apart for the three of us; the two of them are one day apart), we spent a weekend in St. Louis.  It was awesome!

• Saw the Broadway production The Lion King
• Oh my holy goodness, it was amazing.  It was the main attraction of our birthday weekend.

• Began planning to spend five weeks in Québec next summer
• I CAN’T WAIT.

• Won NaNoWriMo “officially” for the first time
• Yeeeah, I did it.  I’m excited.  Not that the novel will actually ever see the light of day.

• Survived the 12/21/12 apocalypse
• Like any of us were actually worried.

So what does 2013 have in store?  The main thing would probably be that Lauren and I are intending to study abroad in Québec City, Québec at the University of Laval for five weeks in July and early August.  Words cannot express how excited I am.  I’ll be going just to study French, which is pretty much a dream come true.  Generally, people are surprised when they learn where I plan to study abroad.  Most French majors and minors at Truman study in France.  Some of the less common destinations (yet still more common than my choice) are Belgium and Switzerland.  I suppose a lot of people don’t really consider just hopping the U.S. border to the country north of us to be “study abroad.”  One would think that since I’ve actually been to Québec and have never been to France, that I would take myself across the pond to Europe.  But nope.  France was never even an option for me.  Sure, I’d love to visit, but Québec is the only place I want to go.  Unfortunately, it’s only for five weeks.  The programs in France can last a whole semester or year, but the longest we can be in Québec (at least in the south and not far up north) is five weeks during the summer.  But I’ll take what I can get.

It's not all been fun, though.  On August 7, 2012 my uncle lost his short battle to cancer.  It was the first time I've lost someone close to me, and I was living my worst fear: to lose a loved one.  I'm glad my mom, aunt, and sister were able to fly out to California for his memorial.  I'm very thankful for my mom and aunt's cousin who paid for them to go out there.  I wish I could have gone, but that's okay.  Sometimes it surprises me how much it still hurts when I think about my uncle, how much I regret taking my relationship with him for granted.  But I'm glad I started talking to him more in recent years since we left California.  And no matter what my religious beliefs are, I'm comforted by the thought that I will see him again someday.

There have been some amazing ups and some terrible lows.  Here's hoping 2013 is full of awesome ups and no lows.

Jurassic Park III

It was always easier for me to answer the question “What is your favorite movie?” (Titanic) than its opposite, “What is your least favorite movie?”  For a while, it was some film I regretfully saw in theatres when Elektra (which I only saw because Jason Isaacs was featured in the first five minutes) was sold out The Cave.  I barely even remember that movie anymore, and I only ever list it as my least favorite movie because I could never think of anything I’d disliked more.

Then I re-watched Jurassic Park III.  This may come as a slight surprise to those who know how much I love dinosaurs and the Jurassic Park franchise.  For some reason, ever since I was a little kid, I’ve been extremely fascinated by dinosaurs.  It might have been stemmed by the lengthy The Land Before Time animated movie series, but it was enhanced by the first two Jurassic Park films, both of which were directed by Steven Spielberg.  My favorite dinosaur?  The mighty Tyrannosaurus rex.  I know a lot of people loved the Triceratops and were dismayed to learn that it never actually existed.  Personally, I never quite understood the love for the three-horned dino.  The T. rex was always my absolute favorite, and I’ll probably never be able to explain why.

Jurassic Park III was released in 2001, about four years after The Lost World: Jurassic Park was released.  I’ll readily admit that sequels are rarely good (think The Hunchback of Notre-Dame II), but some I actually like.  (The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, Toy Story II and III.)  Yeah, I know those are all Disney films, but that’s beside the point.  Another sequel that I loved was The Lost World.  It’s actually my favorite out of the two films, although this might be because of the T. rex’s many appearances and his foray in San Diego.

When I found out that there was going to be a third film in the franchise, I was extremely excited.  I never saw it in theatres, but I received it for Christmas that year.  (Maybe I was one of the only ten- or eleven-year-old girls to get it.)  From the moment I first watched it, I didn’t like it.  My first impression of the Spinosaurus was that it looked extremely fake.  I rarely watched it after that.  If I did, it was to remind myself why I hated it.

I did that very thing last night.  I watched Jurassic Park III for the first time after many years of abstinence.  I had just finished watching the first two films, and I guess I naïvely wanted to finish the trilogy.  Only now I wish I hadn’t.  It made me realize that The Cave was never my least-favorite film, Jurassic Park III was.  They could have done a much better job, and they completely screwed it up.  And here’s why in my opinion.

First of all, the appearance of the Spinosaurus is pretty messed up.  Why?  Because in the first book and movie, it is stated specifically that there are only fifteen species of dinosaur.  Of them, about four are carnivorous: the T. rex, the Velociraptors, the Compys, and the Dilophosaurus.  We see repeatedly in the book a listing of the fifteen animals that were cloned.  In the movie, when Dennis Nedry is stealing the embryos to give to Biosyn, we see all of the animals there, as well.  Spinosaurus is not one of them.  The story of the third movie takes place on Isla Sorna, the island on which Ian Malcolm is marooned in the second film, and also known as Site B where the animals were first created before being moved to Isla Nublar, the site of the actual park.  We see the bulk of Isla Sorna in the second film, and none of the dinosaurs seen there are unexpected.  Then, suddenly, in the third film there is a Spinosaurus.  Dr. Malcolm never crossed paths with it, neither did the huge caravan with which he was traveling.  And yet, in the third movie, the thing is absolutely everywhere.  The makers of the film knew there was a plot hole, too.  At some point, Billy—the trying-to-be-noble-yet-cute-and-idiotic grad student—says, “I don’t remember [the Spinosaurus] being on InGen’s list.”  Dr. Grant replies, “That’s because it wasn’t, which makes me wonder what else they’re up to.”  And that’s it.  We don’t actually get an explanation as to why the dinosaur is there, just an acknowledgement that it shouldn’t be.

Another thing is the Velociraptors.  Never mind the fact that the movies already make them bigger than they were in real life (they were man-height, not a couple of feet above it).  Apparently, in the years separating the second movie and the third, evidence was uncovered that indicated that Velociraptors might have had feathers.  This, of course, supports the underlying theory of the trilogy (and Dr. Grant) that the dinosaurs all evolved into birds, rather than being simultaneously killed by a meteor.  This is fine.  However, what about continuity?  The raptors didn’t have feathers in the first two movies.  Yet in the third they look completely different with no explanation as to why.  They just are.  And now, because science discovered that they were much smarter than originally was thought, so are the ones in the movie!  Now they can talk to each other, which they couldn’t necessarily do in the first two movies.  So the raptors in the third movie are much, much different from the ones in the first two films, which is extremely irritating.

Another issue I have with the movie (yes, I’m still going) is the lack of animatronics replaced with CG effects.  I understand that CG is necessary when animals are running or flying.  But it was used way too much.  The first two films managed to make much more realistic dinosaurs with its animatronics, rather than resorting to cheaper CG.  I was never once scared of the Spinosaurus, due simply to the fact that it looks so fake.  And even when they did use an animatronic of the Spino, it still looked fake!  Steven Spielberg’s hand in this film is almost nonexistent.  His own dinosaurs were miles better than the ones featured in this film.

But back to the plot.  Why did the group rely on Mr. Kirby’s satellite phone to call for help?  Why couldn’t they go to the communications building like in the second film?  Or is that too repetitive?  I understand that InGen went under and is completely bankrupt, but surely they could have raised someone on the radio.  Instead they go to a river, as well as the nursery where the dinosaurs were originally hatched.  Not to mention some aviary that shouldn’t be there.  (Again, where did the Pterodactyl come from?  Of the fifteen species, the only flying one was the Ceradactyl (which eats fish), and that wasn’t even in the first movie.)  If the dinosaurs were only born on Isla Sorna and not raised, why would an aviary be needed?  They should have sent the dactyls off to Isla Nublar before they were really airborne and able to fly away and escape.  And there’s an aviary full of unexplainable Pterodactyls.  I understand that the book The Lost World contained dinosaurs that weren’t on Isla Nublar; I don’t remember the exact explanation given as to their appearance, but there at least was one.  There’s no such thing in the movie.

One last thing: all of the characters, with the exception of Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler, are extremely annoying.  Why did they find it necessary to write the most obnoxious family in existence?  I found myself wanting them to get eaten just so they’d shut up.  There’s something annoying about each new addition to the cast, but I won’t get into that.  Rest assured: THEY’RE OBNOXIOUS.  Unfortunately, the main family didn’t die.  I was hoping they would.

Anyway, that about wraps up my rant as to why Jurassic Park III is horrible.  Stay tuned for a review of The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling in which I state why it’s so underrated.  WOO!  (Or you can just run away and not read it.  That’s fine, too.)

I did it!

So, for the first "real" time in Ashlee Estep history, I won NaNoWriMo!  I began writing on November 1 and reached 50,000 words on November 27.  I was bending a slight rule and continuing a novel I had started writing on October 23, however, so that particular stretch of words reached 50,000 in less than a month, as well.  Total, the novel has about 70,000 words, so it's about 10k less words than Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, just to give a little size comparison.  But yay!  I'm excited.  People keep asking what I'm going to do with it when it's completely finished, and here is the official answer for everyone: nothing.  Will I let you read it?  No.  It's nothing against anyone, it's just not something I'm going to share with people.  It's kind of personal, actually.  I still love you all!

What else has been going on?  The French play was performed a couple of weeks ago, and it went really well!  Thanks to my mighty brain power, the cast party after the final performance was held at Lauren's parents' house here in Kirksville, and there was much pizza and soda to be had.  This play was definitely my favorite so far, despite the fact that I had such a small role and the fact that people sometimes bleet like a sheep at me.  Oh, well.  'Tis the price one pays for fame.  Another bonus of the play is that I don't have to write the final paper for my French Literature I class!  Ah, the benefits of being in the class of the play's director.  So that's one less stress.

Speaking of stress, finals week is approaching.  I cannot believe how quickly this semester has gone by.  It felt like the last two simply dragged.  I've got two papers to write (in English, thank God), a PowerPoint over Dracula: Entre l'amour et la mort (obviously not in English), as well as four finals to study for.  I am so ready for this semester to be finished.  Just two days after I leave the dorm, I'll head to St. Louis to fly home!  This time I won't be staying for only a week, however.  I'll be in Pikeville for three-and-a-half weeks, and as much as I dislike the town, I cannot wait to see my family.  It's been about a year since I've seen  them, which is rather torturous.  I'm really excited to see them, as well as some friends in Kentucky.  Should be fun?

We also registered for classes for next semester?  It'll be difficult, just like this semester, but at least I won't have trigonometry.  So what do I have, you ask?

Phonology & Advanced Grammar (French)

French for International Business Communication

English Grammars

British Victorian Literature

World Civilizations: Since the 17th Century

American Institutional History (online)

Won't this all be exciting?  Okay, so I'm looking forward to three of the six classes, so that's not too bad.  Y'know what I'm really looking forward to?  Québec!  It's becoming more and more real as time passes.  Lauren and I will start filling out applications for the school in January, and then in February start applications for foundation scholarships.  It's all so surreal.  It will be from July 8 to August 9, which really does not seem like enough time.  I wish there was a semester program in the south of Québec (I'll be in Québec City, which is about three hours from the beautiful Montréal), but there isn't.  There's another program in Chicitoumi, but that is quite far up north.  No, thank you.  Still.  There are semester and year-long programs in France.  I wish there was one in Québec; I'd spend a year there any day.

One last thing: I'm getting new glasses!  They should arrive in a little over a week.  They're much like my current ones,  except they're purple and they don't have transition lenses.  What's odd is that the prescription in my left eye improved one, but the prescription in my right eye decreased.  Quite odd, if you ask me.  Oh well.

Toast and noodles!

Halloween approaches.

I apologize for the dull title.  Anyway, there's not much going on with me.  I just felt the urge to make a post since I haven't written one in a while.  So . . . what's happened to me since the beginning of this month?  Hmmm.  Yep, that's about it.  Lauren, Kat, and I went to Hannibal this past weekend for Folklife Festival, which is this two-day event where you can buy homemade crafts and food all up and down downtown Hannibal.  I got a stuffed alpaca named James, a striped, knitted alpaca sweater, and a shirt with Molly Brown on it.  Speaking of Molly Brown, I got my picture taken with "her."  It was exciting.  Yes, I know perfectly well that Molly Brown has been dead for years and that this was an actress, but it's still exciting for me.  I'm a Titanic nerd and proud.  Deal with it.

I'm also knee-deep in planning my Halloween costume.  I won't be doing anything other than handing out candy, but who cares?  WHY is it so impossible to find a green top?  Honestly!  It's insane.  Everything is either neon green or turquoise.  Why do regular green tops not exist?  It's exhausting.  I was hoping to find something at the Quincy Mall, but there was nothing, and I've scoured literally every clothing store in Kirksville.  I think I'm just going to have to buy a green tank top and be less "elegant" than I was hoping.  Why?  I'm being Loki from The Avengers.  Raise your hand if you're shocked.  No one?  Didn't think so.

Also, next month is the beginning of NaNoWriMo.  Even though I try and fail (almost) every year, I do want to try again.  This time I have an actual idea that I think will work, so we'll see.  Obviously writing a 50k word novel in thirty days won't be my priority.  It'll just be my reward for getting everything done.  Still, I'm going to try.

That's about it.  I've started the countdown until I see my family.  Eight weeks exactly.  I can do it!

i can haz sweater weather?

Here's a random blog post from your Resident Ashlee to get you through your day.  It's cold outside.  This can be a good thing and a bad thing.  The good thing about it is that I love Fall and that I've been dying for "sweater weather" since September started.  The bad thing is that I don't have my long trench coat with me, so it's, you know, cold.  I'll try to survive.  Except I'm very tired right now, and I might pass out during my peer tutoring session.  And then how will they learn French?  How??

I am so ready for this weekend.  Lauren, Kat, and I have planned a "nerd weekend" in which we watch a bunch of Marvel movies.  Why, you may ask, would a girl who claims to hate superhero movies watch Marvel?  Because, gentle readers, I was forced to watch The Avengers against my will over the weekend, and I feel in love with it.  Not only did I fall in love with the movie, however, but I also fell in love with Loki, the villain.  He's niiiice.  But in a bad, villainy sort of way.  So we're going to watch Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, and then we're going to wrap it up with The Avengers again.  I actually watched The Avengers last night just because I could, but I have no problems watching it again on Sunday. ;)

Let's see, what else is new?  We went to the Kansas City Zoo on Sunday with The Wildlife Society.  That was oodles of fun.  We drove to Kansas City on Saturday, spent the night at the club president's house (where we watched The Avengers), and then we spent the next day at the zoo.  Unfortunately I was an idiot and left my purse at the president's house and was unable to take any pictures.  Then, when we got home, I realized I'd left my camera's SD card in my laptop, so even if I'd had by camera, I couldn't have taken pictures anyway.  Oi.  I got a stuffed otter.  His name is Otto.  I like him.

Kat and I are quite enjoying The Wildlife Society.  Today, for "Oktoberfest" (root beer on a dry campus), we will man the TWS table for an hour selling buttons.  Should be fun.  And cold.  Brrr.

I am so TIRED.  Blegh.