2020 Vision

I've started this post over and over, mainly because I was never quite sure if I was going to continue with my blog this year.  I've had it since mid-2011, which is a feat in and of itself, but I've been posting less and less in here with 2018 having a record low of three entries.  Why?  Well, 2018 was a terrible year for me, and I just couldn't make myself care enough to write here.  But now that 2020 has arrived and January is creeping along - very - slowly, I've decided to keep on truckin'.

Mainly because I want to talk about my puppy.

That's right, people.  Everyone who's reading this already likely knows the biggest news to hit news stands: Ashlee and Theo are getting a puppy!  He is a golden retriever (an "English Cream," which just means his fur is super light) and, as I write this, he is six weeks old.  We are set to pick which puppy in the litter of eight will be ours on January 25 and we will bring him home a week later on February 1.  I've spent the past several months preparing, and now it's almost time!  Our lovely boy's name?  Draco!

We're as prepared as we can possibly be: we've got his crate, toys, brushes, toothbrush and toothpaste, toys, shampoo, carpet cleaner, blankets, toys, food, treats, and did I mention toys?  We'll also be employing clicker/positive reinforcement training, which I learned about from dog trainer Zak George and his books and YouTube videos, in order to have the best behaved boy possible.

There may be some who wonder why we're purchasing our puppy from a breeder instead of adopting a dog from a shelter or rescue.  Why a golden retriever, you may ask?  Well, the short answer is to protect our three guinea pigs by having a dog with a low prey drive.  But golden retriever rescues exist, you say.  Yes, that's true, but we don't know what's in those dogs' pasts.  We explored that option and saw that a lot of those dogs need to be in a "one pet only" household, or only come in bonded pairs.  We need to raise our puppy around our guinea pigs to ensure the safest interactions possible, though said interactions will be minimal.  We're not looking to have the picture perfect Instagram pets where our dog cuddles with our guinea pigs, and it's all idyllic.  We just want our guinea pigs to be safe.  Though I don't owe anyone explanations, I do want to insist that it's never been about just wanting a golden retriever puppy, so we run to the nearest breeder.  Getting Draco has not been a spur-of-the-moment decision, a Christmas gift, or anything like that.  We've done a lot of research and decided this was the best avenue for us to pursue.  However, we've also decided that our next dog (we're considering the possibility of having two at once several years down the road) will most definitely be a rescue, as our guinea pigs will no longer be in the picture.  (They'll have gone to their permanent vacation home in Norway by that point, you know.)

Another thing people might wonder is if we're getting a dog to "prepare" us to have children.  Theo and I have been married for over two years, so you might wonder when the baby making wheels will start turning.  Well, those wheels are firmly stuck at the moment, as I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which essentially means that becoming pregnant is very difficult.  I've contemplated making a post about this, but basically, we've been trying to get pregnant since we got married with no luck.  We still want children, but that's a desire that's separate from getting Draco.  I'm not looking for pity or advice.  We've seen a fertility specialist.  Adoption is a possibility.  But we're also still young.  We've got time.  If we were to find out we were pregnant tomorrow, nothing would change.  We'd just be pregnant while raising a puppy, and we'd have an unruly teenager dog and three guinea pigs at the same time as a newborn.  No big.  The point is, if we did suddenly become pregnant, it wouldn't affect our pets.

So, yeah, there's that.

In other news, I just bought my seventh pair of Converse, which is extremely exciting.  Note to self: hide them from Draco.

2020 is promising to be a great year.  It'll be filled with a trip down to Florida, a trip up to Ohio for a metal music festival (METALLICA AND EVANESCENCE WHAT), trips to Missouri for my beloved Kat's wedding, hopefully another round at the Titanic Conference in Pigeon Forge, possibly a trip up to Wisconsin to see my beloved Lauren, aaand who knows what else!  Lots of puppy poop.  Maybe we'll get pregnant.  Maybe we won't.  Right now, I'm content to just wait and see.

Noodles

A lot has happened since I last wrote in June!  (Technically I wrote in July, but that was just an FAQ for my Edge Series trilogy, WHICH I FINISHED.)  So let’s just dive right in, shall we?

In mid-July, Theo and I went down to spend the weekend in Atlanta for our second year of Atlanta Comic Con!  His highlight was meeting Steve Downes, who voices Master Chief from the Halo series, Theo’s favorite video game.  It was adorable.  We attended the Q&A panel for Bonnie Wright, who played Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter series, and I got to meet her afterward, get an autograph on my copy of Chamber of Secrets, and get a selfie with her!  I talked to her about the short film she directed, Medusa’s Ankles, which stars my favorite actor, Jason Isaacs, and it was wonderful.  We also got to have dinner with my sister and brother, Sarah and Jesse, and then we spent the rest of the evening with my mom, brother Jackson, and sister Mary.  It was lovely.

Later that month, Theo and I spent the day down in Huntsville, Alabama at the U.S. Space and Rocket Center.  It was super nifty and fun, and before that, we had breakfast with my wonderful, amazing, glorious ex-coworker, Becky!  She and I were cashiers together at Honda, and I was devastated when she moved down to live in Alabama, though I was pleased she would be happier living closer to her family.  Still.  She’s the best coworker I ever had.  She brought me orange juice one morning when she knew I was sick.  She’s quite literally the sweetest person I have ever had the luck of knowing.

In early August, the guys who mow our lawn accidentally sent a rock from our gravel driveway into the back passenger window of my car, shattering it.  That was fun.  But luckily they’re insured, so it was paid for in full, and it was totally fixed by the following Monday.  But still.  That was a fun time.

A little later, I received acceptance to attend Middle Tennessee State University this Spring to study to be a graphic designer!  (A little more on that later.)

Late August was something I had been looking forward to for a while: the Titanic Conference!  I had been trying to go for two years, but I was never able to manage it.  I drove out on Thursday morning to Pigeon Forge, spent some time at the museum, and then headed over to the meet-and-greet that evening.  I talked to a few people that night, but my anxiety got the best of me, and I struggled to really do much other than sit there like a lump.  The next day, after the first couple of sessions, I had lunch at Shoney’s with three dudes, and we talked about the ship, and it was glorious.  That night, we had a fancy dinner at the museum, and I met Rachel, who is a positively glorious human.  We spent the dinner talking about everything from Titanic to Dungeons and Dragons, and later we drove back to the hotel together, and we hung out until the wee hours of the morning with the Titanic: Honor and Glory team.  It was awesome.  Sad part is, she and her husband live in Arizona.  Which is far and gives me the sads.

At the end of the month, I turned twenty-eight.  Ugh.  But then right after, Theo and I went back down to Atlanta for this year’s iteration of Dragon Con!  We only attended on Saturday last year, but this year we were there for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  Saturday was pretty much spent just waiting to get into David Tennant’s Q&A panel, which was hilarious and lots of fun.  We then got to meet him briefly and take our photo with him later that day!

The next day, Lauren flew down from Wisconsin!  It was her first con ever, so we started it off with a bang by meeting Dan Fogler, who plays Jacob in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.  She got an autograph and spoke to him for a little bit, and then we went over to meet Rodger Bumpass, who voices Squidward in SpongeBob SquarePants.  (I met him last year at Atlanta Comic Con, so I didn’t really say anything and just watched.)  We also went to a really cool panel with four YA authors about the “fandom genre,” which is basically novels that center around some sort of fandom, like comic cons, TV shows, book series, etc.  (The most popular one is Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell.)  The best part was that a friend of mine, Lindsay Ribar, was one of the panelists.  We met via Facebook a while back after I discovered a super old website she had made on Angelfire dedicated to Bruno Pelletier.  Amazed that there was an American fan whose favorite song was also my favorite song, and who was also a writer, I messaged her on Facebook and we became friends.  (Her books are awesome, and you should go read them.)

The next day we spent most of the day in the Vendors area, where Lauren got a super adorable hat, and I got a stuffed bear named Lumi.  (Because what else do you get at a comic con?)

After the con, Lauren drove back up to Tennessee with us to spend a week just hanging out!  We perused Murfreesboro, spending lots and lots of time at Starbucks, reading and writing; we did some shopping, drank even more coffee; and went up to Nashville at one point for a dinner.  A good time was had by all!

The best part of Lauren’s visit was on Tuesday, the day after we got back from Atlanta, when we drove the five-and-a-half hours to St. Louis to surprise Kat!  I had been coordinating with Kat’s fiancé for months about surprising her, and we pulled it off!  Kat was stunned, to say the least.  We got lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, as per our tradition, and hung out at the Galleria for several hours, just like old times, before Lauren and I headed back to Tennessee, arriving at about eleven or midnight.  It was magical and 110% worth it.

About a week or so ago, Theo and I changed our plans for next spring/summer.  We’re not going to Disney World in April . . . we’re going to London in May!  We’re both so unbelievably excited.  We got tickets on Virgin Atlantic for an amazing price – about 33% cheaper than going to Disney World.  Granted, the Disney tickets included the hotel and dining plan, but still.  WEE!  So far, we’ve decided that we want to see as much as the UK as we can in a week, so we’re not just gonna stay in London the whole time.  My main priorities are going down to Southampton and hopefully up to Scotland, while Theo really wants to go to Derbyshire, where his family is from.  I would also really like to take the Eurostar over to Paris for a day!  EEEEE!!!

Now.  Back to the thing about me going back to school.  So I’ve always known I wanted to go back to school.  I know I can’t spend the rest of my life in data entry.  I just can’t.  After gaining some experience with Adobe InDesign and falling in love with it, Lauren suggested that I actively pursue graphic design.  And I loved this idea, so I applied and was accepted.  I even toured the art department and met one of the graphic design professors.

However, there was always this voice in the back of my mind asking if this was really what I wanted.  Did I want to spend another three or so years in school to have a completely different career track?  Yeah, I’m good at InDesign, but I’m not great at drawing, and who knows if I would be good at the rest?  In the end, the decision not to study graphic design wasn’t out of a fear of failure, but of a realization that there’s something I want to do more: teach!

Teaching has been in the back of my mind since I got my degree in French four years ago.  Sometimes I thought I didn’t want to teach, other times I did.  Now I’ve decided that I really think I do.  I know it’ll be incredibly difficult, draining—emotionally, mentally, and physically—and that there’ll be days when all I want to do is quit.  But I really, really want to give this a go.  I want to make something out of myself, and I want to make a difference in the lives of others.  I don’t have delusions of being that one teacher for every student, the one who changed their lives, and who made them love school.  But I want to do my best to help.  (I also want to spread my love of French and/or English.)

So that’s what I’ve been doing as of late: figuring out what the heck I’m going to do in the spring!  I’m not 100% sure what I want to teach.  Obviously, French would be the easiest option, in that I would just need to do MTSU’s post baccalaureate program to get my teaching licensure, but I’m not sure I want to teach high school.  I really want to teach middle school, since I love that age, but that would mean finishing my English degree in addition to the teaching preparation.  I’ve also begun considering elementary age, so who the heck knows!  I’m trying to take things one step at a time!  Wish me luck!

In the last bit of news, my mom and I saw LeAnn Rimes tonight!  LeAnn was the first favorite singer I ever had, and I remember playing the crap out of her cassette for her first album, Blue.  In addition, my grandma and I have oodles of fun singing Blue whenever we're together!  The concert was AMAZING!

"The Edge Series" FAQ

I've finished my trilogy!  Now that I'm done, I realized that I get a lot of questions about it, so I thought it might be fun to write out a sort of FAQ.  Let's go!

1. What's it about?

The Titanic.

2. The movie or the ship?

Both, but mainly the ship and characters of my own invention or adaptation.

3. Are you obsessed with Jack and Rose?

Not at all.  I love the movie, but I don't care about their romance; I focus on the stories you see in the background.

4. Will you try to get published?

No.

5. Will you self-publish?

No.

6. Why not?

Because, for one thing, I'm using characters from the movie, and it would take a lot of effort to take them out of it.  For another, I also use real people who actually existed not that long ago, and I don't believe it would be appropriate to profit off of their lives, especially a fictionalized version, when their descendants are still around and actively working to preserve their memories.

7. Oh.

Yeah.

8. Titanic sucks.

Shut up, Jesse.

9. How long have you been working on the trilogy?

About five years.  The first book took the longest and I wrote the final two in a span of about six months.

10. Can I read it?

Sure.  I'd like to get it (or at least the first book) printed eventually, just for my own enjoyment, so let me know if you'd like a copy.

10a. How much will that cost?

I won't charge anything, except maybe shipping.

11. What's it really about?

It's about a young woman named Cate Alton, who is traveling as a first class passenger aboard Titanic.  Her father is the ship's first officer, William Murdoch.  After being introduced by him, she falls in love with the ship's sixth officer, James Moody.  Unfortunately, due to societal expectations, officer regulations, and a father not very much wanting his colleague to court his daughter, they have to work hard to be together.  Then, of course, there's the fact that they're on Titanic.

12. What characters from the movie are in it?

Cal, the movie's villain, is the only one who really makes extensive appearances.

13. Why do you like Titanic so much?

I don't know.  I've always felt a connection to the ship.  It's extremely difficult to explain.

14. What are you going to do now?

I'm going to Disney World!

(For real, though.)

Holy cheese puffs

I'm actually writing this before the month is over instead of retroactively changing the date because I'm weirdly anal about such things.  Wow.

What happened during the months of May and June, you may ask?  (Even if you don't ask, I'm still going to tell you.)

Well, the main thing would be that I flew up to Quebec City to spend a long weekend with my lovely friend, Karen.  We rented an AirBNB apartment and touristed ourselves into oblivion - walking through Vieux-Quebec, trudging up hills, and gorging ourselves on poutine.  Because obviously.  On Saturday night, we went to see Bruno Pelletier in concert (does this shock anyone) and were able to go visit with him for a bit during the intermission.  It was awesome.

The day after I got back, Theo and I went to see Shinedown at the Ryman.  Actually, a couple days before I flew up to Quebec, my mom and I saw Eddie Izzard, also at the Ryman.  So I pretty much just lived in Nashville for the weekend.

In June, Theo and I went to Knoxville for our friend, Brandy's, wedding.  It was quite lovely!  It made me wish it was our wedding day again.  I also spent the whole time drooling over Theo in his suit, because that's just the kind of person I am.

The following weekend, we went down to Georgia to spend some time with my family!  We got lunch at KFC (at the BIG CHICKEN) before going to my mom, sister's, and brother's apartment to swim for the afternoon.  Theo and I did not wear sun screen because we are stupid.  We swam, burnt, and had a jolly time.  That evening, we went to my sister Sarah's house to have one jumbo sleepover.  It was great!

Aaaand that's about it.  Oh, yeah.  One other thing.

We're going to Disney World!!

Okay, so it's not until April 2020.  (According to my countdown app, its 293 days away.)  But this kind of vacation requires lots of planning and obsession.  And that's what I'm doing!  I'm so excited.

In a couple weekends, we're going back down to Georgia for the Atlanta Comic Con.  I also have Independence Day off work, which is SUPER EXCITING, since I already have Wednesdays off due to working four ten-hour days a week, so that's two days off during the week!  WOO!  August will be filled with lots of stuff, like the Titanic Conference, which I may or may not attend, Dragon Con down in Atlanta (for which Lauren will be joining us during the last two days), aaaand my birthday!  So hopefully that's enough to keep my mind off of Disney World.

But I doubt it.

I'm not great at this

So April wasn't the best month, which probably explains my totally, not fake entry that I just so happened to post at the literal last minute of April so as not to ruin my "one post a month" streak.

To be quite honest, April sucked.

On April 11, we made the heart-wrenching decision for Elvira, one of our guinea pigs, to be put to sleep.  She had lost nearly half her body weight, in spite of eating often, and was clearly not doing well.  The vet believes she was suffering from either pneumonia or cancer, and after four previous unsuccessful rounds of different medications, we knew it was time.  It was the most difficult decision we've ever had to make, but we knew it had to be done for her sake.  We stayed with her the whole time, petting her and telling her how much we loved her.  The other three guinea pigs seem to be okay; luckily, they have each other, although there are occasional times where a guinea pig will grieve severely to the point where medical intervention is needed.  Early the following week, we picked up her ashes in a beautiful box with her name inscribed on it, along with, to our surprise, a lock of her long hair that the vet or one of her assistants had cut off for us.  Though we only had her for just over a year, we're immensely grateful for the time we got to spend with our lovely Mistress of Darkness.

Elvira Bellatrix
2015 - April 11, 2019

On April 15, the Notre-Dame cathedral in Paris caught fire.  Some of you may wonder why this would affect me, but I was pretty devastated.  Notre-Dame changed my life, though I've never seen it in person.  Without it, I never would have met several amazing people, including my two best friends.  The Disney movie, The Hunchback of Notre-Dame and the musical Notre-Dame de Paris would never have been made, and I never would have discovered the music of Bruno Pelletier.  If I hadn't discovered his music, I never would have met Lauren and Kat, nor would I have started teaching myself French.  If I hadn't met Lauren and Kat, I never would have gone to Truman, and if I hadn't fallen in love with French, I never would have gotten a Bachelor's degree in it.  If I hadn't gotten my B.A., I never would have spent a year living in Montréal.  Who knows what my life would be like if, in my senior year of high school, my art history teacher never talked about Gothic architecture and, in passing, mentioned Quasimodo sliding along the buttresses in the movie?

Notre-Dame came to symbolize so much for me.  It truly did help to change and shape my life.  So to see part of it go up in flames (and on the day Titanic sank, no less) was horrible.  But I'm ecstatic that they'll rebuild.  I'm glad it's not lost forever.

April 22 is also what would have been my brother Michael's 28th birthday.  I was unable to go down to Georgia (nor have I been able to go down at all this year, actually), which made it even harder.

But good things happened, too.  The final Avengers film, Endgame, came out and proved itself to be an absolutely amazing culmination of twenty-one (or is twenty-two?) films.  I've seen it three times and I think it's safe to say I'm addicted.  It's an incredible film.

On April 28, I finished the second novel of my series, The Way Back Home.  With 111,645 words, it's longer than Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and, if printed as a paperback, would be about 450 pages or so.  I've already started on the third novel, so I'm not quite sure what I'll do when I've finished that one.

In late April, early May, Theo flew (for the first time ever!) to Las Vegas to spend several days there at a conference for work.  He had fun.  I was jealous.

And later this week, I'll be flying up to Québec City to spend a long weekend with my lovely friend, Karen.  It shall be magical.

Oops.

My bad.

This was definitely posted in March

In case you're wondering, I most certainly am NOT writing this on April 1 and changing the date and time to make it look like it was written on March 31 so I don't already break my "one-post-a-month" streak.  So quit asking!

Anyway.

What's new with me?  The last we heard of my tale, I had just had a septoplasty and was super stoked to be able to breathe.  So... can I breathe?

The surgery worked for the most part, but I still struggle here and there with, ironically, the nostril that never really had the problem in the first place.  A couple of people have suggested that I go back to my doctor to get it checked out, but after the expense of the first visit and just the camera to look up in there, not to mention the surgery itself, I think I'll pass.  Because America.

In other news, our lovely guinea pig, Elvira, has been sick for a month-and-a-half, and we don't know why.  $300, two vet visits, four different medications, and an x-ray later, and we're still not sure what it is.  We've ruled out a URI, allergies, pneumonia, and heart problems.  What's odd is that usually when a guinea pig is sick, they'll stop eating, drinking, and doing, well, anything.  But Elvira eats and drinks, but she's got the constant snuffles and she's lost a significant bit of weight (in spite of eating).  It has been suggested to us that she has some form of cancer, in which case there's not really much for us to do other than watch her, love her, and make sure she's not suffering.

In more other news, in mid-February, I bought a plane ticket to go up to Québec City to see Bruno Pelletier in concert.  (Who's shocked?  Are you shocked?  It's my twelfth concert of his.  Don't be shocked.)  My darling, lovely friend, Karen, is going to fly up from New Jersey to attend the show with me, and it is going to be magical.  Even more magical will be the fact that I'm spending more than twenty-five hours there.  This time it'll be about forty-eight!

In about mid-March, I drove out to Missouri to see my two bestest friends in the whole, wide world.  Merriment was made.  There was a lot of laughing, hanging out, and drinking.

In the last bit of news, I just purchased tickets for my mom and me to go see Eddie Izzard in Nashville.  It's the same tour that Theo and I saw last year, but it's hilarious, and my mom has never seen Eddie, so it'll be super fun.  I'm stoked.

Noodles.